Hostages in the Basement
by tiduscanfly
Summary: What happens when I kidnap Link and Fang and lock them in my besement before proceeding to chat with my friends? Read to find out... I only update this when I'm bored, so don't expect frequent updates...
1. Meet the hostages

_I take credit for Fang (who is looking over my shoulder right now no doubt wishing to kill me for kidnapping him), Link (who's gotten over it), and me (who is thoroughly enjoying themself) This was just a very random conversation I had with my neighbor navy on gmail chat. I hope you find it entertaining... And George is the George from Tamora Pierce's Song of the Lioness quartet. _

**me: ** MY FANG!!!

**Navy: ** HE IS MINE!

**me: ** MINE

MINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE

MINE

MINE

MINE

MINE

MINE

MINE

MIN

E

MINE

MINE

MINE

MINE

MINE

MINE

MINE

MINE

MINE

MINE

MINE

MINE

MINE

**Navy: ** You already have your unsocail brother Jonathen

**me: ** MY FANNG

I don't want Jonathan

**Navy: ** Did I spell that right?

**me: ** nope

but MY FANG

**Navy: ** You have him so there, I have Fang, he's tied up in one of my many closets

**me: ** that's what you think

cause as far as I know he's been in my basement for the past three months

He helps me with my fanfiction

**Navy: ** Thats Gazzy]

**me: ** Makes sure I have enough Fax

**Navy: ** oops

**me: ** You have Gazzy

**Navy: ** Fax?

**me: ** Fang+Max=Fax

**Navy: ** MUST K!LL

**me: ** kill who?

**Navy: ** ZOEY

**me: ** ...

what?

who's Zoey?

**Navy: ** She is my imaganery friend, Amy meat Zoebert, or Zoey for short.

**Zoey:**

**Zoey:**.... hi

**me: ** Hi, Zoebert, can you kill Lissa for me? She's a stupid-

**Fang:** Language!

**me: **SSHHHHHH, no talking, Fang, you're a hostage

**Navy: ** Me: FANG! (glomps)

**me: ** *grabs Fang* MY FANG!!!

**Fang:** No one's Fang. Me my Fang

**Navy:**-----------

**me: ** MY FANG!!!

**Navy: ** (attacks you)

**me: ** My.. * choke* FANG

**Fang:** * eats popcorn*

**me: **traitor...

**Zoey: **Do they do that often

**Fang: **Yes

**Zoey:** Good think Dark and Link got away then or should we panick about being here?

**Fang:** Hmmm... *observes fight* I think we should be worried... fifty bucks says they'll kill each other

**me: **MMYY FFAANNGG

**Fang:** I fear for my life.

**Zoey:** I'll take that

**Fang:** I'm gonna win

**George:** They've never killed each other before. They have just sent themselves to the ER

**Fang:** She kidnap you, too, man?

**George:** No, here of my free will. Ether that or she kills my wife.

**Fang:** That's rough...

**George:** Not as bad as Dom and Nawat and Numair got it.

**Fang:** I don't even want to know...

**George:** Want to help me look for them?

**Zoey:** They are distracted

**Fang:** Sure *shrugs* I've got nothing to lose.

**George: **Who has a name of Zoebert?

**Fang:** Zoey does

**Zoey:** me

**Zoey: **Yes it is a stupid name, no I didn't pick that name.

_A few minutes later..._

**Fang:** ....... hello?

**Fang:** Fine. Leave me in this cold... dark... basement... *sniff *

**Link:** Dude, it's nothing to cry over

**Fang:** WTF, where'd you come from?

**Link:** * yawns* I was taking a nap.

**Fang: **How long've you been here?!

**Link:** A year and a half

**Fang:** ... I'm doomed...


	2. Meet Kikio and Rin

_another chat with another friend. KIKIO. And he other half Rin. And her husband Luke... I'm only taking credit for me, Fang, and Link. OW Fang bit me. He keeps doing that. Haha, Link beat him up ^-^_

**Kikio: ** AMY

**me: ** hi I was RPing with Navy XD

**Kikio: ** RPing?

**me: ** RPs with Navy are fun

role playing

**Kikio: ** o

lol

**me: ** here, I'll send you it

**Kikio: ** okies

**me: ** (I take credit for Fang, Link, and me)

there

**Kikio: ** lol SHH, NO TALKING FANG, UR A HOSTAGE

**me: ** lol yep

**Fang:** * glares*

**me: **no glaring, either

**Fang; ***sigh*

**me: **or sighing!!!

**Kikio: ** lol

**me: ** He's so disobedient

unlike Link

**Kikio:** i made link save the world today.. again

**me: ** he's a good boy

Link, that is

**Kikio: ** lol

**me: ** he's also in my basement

he got over it, though

**Kikio: ** uh huh

llol

**Link:** It's boring here

**me: **shut up

**Link:** It is

**me:** I said shut up

**Link:** :p

**Kikio: ** everyone, meet luke, my husband (i got married)

**Link:** Hi, Luke

**Luke:** hi

**Link:** Wussup

**Luke:** NM, u?

**me: ** Link, you're not a gangster

**Link: **YES I AM

**me:** nope

**Link: ***cries*

**Kikio:** wait, ill send u a pic of luke, brb

**me: ** kk

**Kikio: ** there

**me: ** awww ur husband's cute

**Fang:** He's ugly

**me:** FANG, MANNERS

**Fang: **

**Luke:** *stares at Fang*

**Fang:** What, pearlyhair?

**Kikio:** Luke, stop staring

**Fang:** Yeah, dude, stop staring

**Fang: **It's freeaky

**Kikio:** srry fang, Luke is a bit inconsiderate sometimes

**Link:** It's ok, Fang is, too

**Kikio:** *elbows Luke*

**Fang:** *tries to punch Luke through screen*

**Luke:** srry man

**Link:** Cool it, buddy

**Kikio** **and Luke:** lol Fang

**Fang: **Don't call me buddy

**Link:** I won't buddy

**Fang: **Shut up

**Kikio and Luke:** XD

**Luke:** so, whats everyone up too

**me: **they don't get along very well...

**Fang:** It's not my fault he's such an idot

**Kikio: **Luke drinks alot, we all have our issues, lol

**Link:** Look who's talking, feather boy

**Luke:** RIAH!

**Fang: **Link drinks, too

**Link:** I do not

**Fang;** Do too

**Link: **Amy doesn't even feed me

**Luke:** YAY im not alone! none of riahs friends drink

**me: **I DO TOO

**Me:** And Link does not drink

**Fang: **Does too

**Link: **No I don't

**Kikio:** XD

**Link:** Fang has a picture of his girlfriend in his pocket all the time

**Luke:** yeah, im sure he dont, buddy *looks at Fang*

**Fang:** * blushes* Do not!

**Link: **Yep, don't deny it

**Fang:** Shut up

**Kikio and Luke:** *stare at Fang*

**Fang:** I do not

**Me:** *pulls out picture of Max* Yep, you do

**Fang: **Shut up...

**Kikio and Luke:** XDDDDDDDDD

**Fang:** W-well, Link does, too!!!

**Link:** No I don;t

**Rin:** hi

**Fang:** * turns out Link's pockets* ... darn...

**Link:** Yo, dawg, wuts up?

**Kikio: ** iz zelda in there?

**Me:** For the last time, you're not a gangster, Link

**Link:** Nope, she's not

**Fang: ***sulks*

**Rin:** hi, im Kikios other half, the nice one

**Link:** But I am a gangster

**Link:** * stares* are you pretty?

**Kikio:** Rin!

**me:** * slaps link* perv...

**Rin:** xD

**Link:** Just asking...

**Kikio: ** hold on, ill send a picture

**Link:** seriously, are you?

**me:** shut up, Link

**Fang: **When can I leave?

**Me;** NNNNEEEEEVVVVVVEEEEERRRRRRR

**Fang: *whimpers* okay**

**me:** *cue evil laugh*

**Kikio:** hafta go

**me: ** nnnooooooo

_hahahahaha another episode of randomnes MUHAHAHAHAHAHA_


	3. Kikio Meets Navy

_**Alright, this chapter is a LLOOTT longer. Well, that's what happens when you start a group chat… this time I only take credit for me, link, Fang, and Max…**_

_Navy has joined_

_Kikio has joined_

**Fang:** Amy, what'd you do?

**Me:** hehehehe

**Kikio: **STRANGER DANGER ~hides behind rock~

**Link:** * laughs at Riah*

**George:** Who the heck is Kikio? HI!

**me**: this is amusing...

**Kikio: **Hi ^-^

**Rin:** whos Navy, Amy?

**me**: Navy

**Kikio: **ooooooooo

**Zoey:** She'll be back in 5m

**me**: there, now you guys know each other

**Everyone:** hi Navy :D

**Fang:** Idiots, can't you hear? She'll be back in 5

**Navy:** DEATH TO ALL THAT DEFIE ME!

**Link:** I DON'T DEFY YOU!!!

**Alanna:** I do-

**Everyone:** ~gapes~ WE DO NOT DEFIE UUUU

**Fang:** Where'd Alanna come from?!

**Navy:** *Alanna gets shoved in bag*

**me**: who gets shoved in bag?

**Rin**: xD

**Navy**: Alanna who:?

**me**: Alanna?

Alanna Trebond

**Link:** I'M CONFUSED

**Luke:** ~

**Navy**: BRB  
**George:** Don't drag me with you-

**Link:** You don't wanna be with your wife?

**Link**: She's the reason you're stuck in a psycho's basement in the first place

**me:** LINK, DON'T CALL HER THAT IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!!!!

**Zoey:** He is going dress shopping

**Fang:** Who? Link?

**Luke:** lol, i read the chat, funny....

**me**:what chat? Huh? WHat am I missing? I'm confused!!!!

**Kikio: **the one u sent me amy

**Zoey:** Thank you. (Bows to the peeps)

**Everyone:** ~Bows back to Zoey~

**Fang:** I'm not bowing to anyone

**Link:** * bows Fang*

**Rin:** ima japanese freak :)

**Navy**: So far it is easier to by things from BNN than from amazon

**Everyone:** what?

**Link:** Thank you for the wisdom

**Rin:** i like wisdom

**me**: brb guys, gotta get cake

**Evelyn**: $283.00  
+ $3.99shipping

Used - Acceptable  
This is for the angel experiment

**Fang:** CCAAKKEE

**Zoey:** He lost it.

**Rin**: ~looks around wildly~ CAKE?

**Kikio: **srry, shes a cake fanatic xD

**Zoey:** Cake fanfic?

**Riah**: fanatic, brb

**Fang:** * drools over cake*

**George:** Fang are you going to marry Max  
**Zoey:** I thought Master tied her to the bottom of her bed so he can never see her again.  
**Max:** ...

**Fang:** MMMAAAAAXXXXX!!!!!

**Fang:** MY MAX!!!!

**Fang:** Not yours!

**FANG:** MMMMIIIIIIINNNNNEEEEE

**me:** calm down, dude

**Fang:** MMIINNEE

**Max:** (is still tied up)

**Link:** Amy, he sounds like you when you were obsessing over Fang

**Fang:** RELEASE HER YOU FIEND!!!!

**me:** Fang, you idiot, don't call her that...

**Navy**: I tied her up and hid her for her own good from... Amy...

**me**: why from me?!

WHY

Kikio, are you still alive?

**Navy**: You would kill her to get fangs heart

**me**: ...

I never said that

I like Fax

**Evelyn**: its true

**Fang:** Actually, she's torn.

**Fang:** She loves me, but she also loves that me and Max are a couple... I did not just say that me and Max are a couple... cause we're not

**Max:** (is still tied up and wiggling)

**me**: whatev

**Kikio: **hi

**me**: Kikio, ARE YOU ALIVE?! SPEAK TO ME

oh, hi

...

**Kikio: **hi

srry bout that

**Link:** WHERE'S DIN?!

**me;** Rin

**Kikio: **had to fill out girl scout sheet thingy

**Link**: RIN

**Rin:** hey

**Link:** H-hi

**Rin**: u gots the cake?

**Link:** no...

**Rin:** teehee, hi Link

**Link:** Hi

**Rin:** **^-^**

**me**: *whispers to Kikio* We should send them away together so we never have to deal with them again

**Zoey:** Link likes rin!

**me**: yes, he does!!!

**Link:** N-no I don't!

**Rin:** lol

**Rin:** Its okies ^-^

**Navy**: I'll be the priest!

**Link:** O_o Don't I get a say in this?

**Kikio: **~whispers to amy~ i cant send rin away, shes my other half, id kill people if i didnt have her

**Navy:** Do you rin take link to to be your husband though sickness, rage, and till death do you part?

**Rin:** w-what? priest of what?!?!?

**Me**: *whispers to Kikio* please? he's getting annoying

**Fang:** If Link marries Rin can I marry Max?

**Navy**: Sure!

**me**: only if Navy lets her go, which isn't likely

**Navy**: Ask max

**Rin**: uhhhhhhhhh ~backs away slowly~

**Fang:** ... Where is she?

**Navy:** You have the key Amy its under your bed

**Me**: O_o It is?

**Kikio: **o jeez

**me**: Fang: * Tries to run upstairs*

**me:** YOU STAY DOWN HERE, FANG

**me:** *retrievs* key how did you get this under my bed?

**Kikio: **SHES A STLAKER!!!!!

lol

**Navy**: DON"T MAKE ME CALL TERA!

**Fang:** No duh. NOW GET ME MY MAX!!!

**Rin:** uh, whos tera?

**me**: fine. Navy, can Fang have his Max back now?

**Rin:** lotsa drama, like at Kikio's school

**Fang:** How about my life? It has drama

**me:** No one cares, Fang

**Kikio: **o yeah, amy, did u know Rin can fly? ~strange rright?~

**Fang:** GIVE ME MY MAX!!!

**Navy**: Yeah she's yours (shoves max at Amy)

**Rin:** CALM DOWN FANG

**Fang:** I can fly! * spreads wings* * hits Amy in face*

**me:** OWWWW, stupid Fang!!! Why's i kidnap YOU?!

**Navy**: Poor amy

**me**: just give him Max back before he strangles someone...

**Rin:** ~tilts head in a cute way that could make u vomit~ i can fly too...

**Navy:** (you do have max Amy)

**Riah**: why, why are u my cute other? i dont like it when people vomit!

**Navy**: I vomited last night!

**Rin**: btw Navy, nice to meet u ~wings pop out of back, and flutter~

**Kikio: **so did i! i was sick tho~

**Navy**: Welcome to Amy's destruction Kikio

**Kikio: **poor me

her destruction?

**Navy**: yes

**Kikio**: ~tilts head in a less cute way than rin, but still cute~

**Navy**: I'm getting the maximum ride series

**me**: brb guys

**Kikio**: okies

**Navy****:** AMY! NO!

**Rin:** wheres link?

NOOO AMYYY

**Navy**: NOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMY NOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMY NOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMY NOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMY NOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMY _**(A/N for the record, I have no idea what the heck is up with the noamy stuff XD)**_

**me**: bak.... wth?!

**Kikio: **everyone: ~gapes ~ OoO

**Navy**: Did you know you can only send 200 characters at a time?

**Rin:** LINNNNKKKKKKK?

**Navy**: NOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMY NOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMY NOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMY NOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMY NOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMYNOAMY

**Kikio: **yeah, i knew that

**Link:** Amy, do I have permission to go out with Rin?

**Kikio: **xDDd

**Me**: O_o

**Evelyn**: I didn't

**Rin:** PLZZZZZZZZZZZ

~puppy dog eyes~

**me**: ummmm.... if Kikio says it's ok...

**Kikio: **its fine with me

**Navy**: Amy better (gets out childhood weapon of a bat)

**Rin:** YAYYYYYYYYYYYY

**me**: alright, BUT NO LEAVING THE BASEMENT

nooøooooooooo, NOT THE BAT!!!!

**Rin:** okiesss

**Link:** Yay ^-^

**Kikio: **^-^

**Navy**: she had multiple bad incounters with the bat

**me**: that was a very unmanly smiley face, Link

**Link:** oh well

**Kikio: **I GOT HIT WITH A BAT TODAY

**me**: I GOT HIT WITH A BAT AT LEAST A MILLION TIMES AS A CHILD

**Navy**: From me

**me**: thanks to SOMEONE

yep

**Kikio: **i was at softball practice, and my coach hit me over the head with it, he said it was on accident

**Navy**: POWER RANGERS RULE!

**me**: YES THEY DO!!!

**Navy**: poor you

**Kikio:**, dont wory,

**Link**: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE OUT WITH RIN?!

**Navy**: I love adam (_**A/N I have no idea who she was talking about. Navy's just weird like that XD)**_

**me**: O_oO_o

**Navy**: O_0 You die if you do

**Kikio: **when we were leaving, i threw a hard softball at the back of his head, and tran away

**Zoey:** No.....

**me**: Link, that was very innapropriate

**George:** Can I have my wife back or what?

**Rin:** ~blows Link kisses~

**Kikio: **ughhhhhhh

**Link:** I'll get out of this basement someday, Rin. Just for you * sniff*

**Rin:** srry, i lov-es him :D

**Me**: OH NO YOU WON'T

**Rin:** ill fly to u then sweety!

^-^

**me**: Are you gonna' come into my basement?! Cause it's crowded down here and it's not finished!!

**George:** WHERE IS ALANNA  
**Navy**: HOW THE $^(# SHOULD I KNOW WHER THAT &^$ IS YOU *%#$#

**me**: ...

**Kikio: **~puts head down ~ why is SHE my other

**Navy**: Sorry about that

**Fang:** Am I getting Max back anytime soon?!

**Rin:** Kikio

:(

**Navy**: I gave max to amy

check above

**Fang:** *turns to Amy*

**Fang:** GIVE ME MAX

**Rin:** u did fang sweety :) ~she calls everyone sweety link, but ur special, dont worry~

**Navy**: Lets go to a bigger room, LIKE THE GYM!

**me**: Alright, alright *hands Max over*

**Fang:** MMAAXX!!!!!!!

**Navy**: Is max uncoision?

**Everyone:** O.O

**Navy**: me!

**me**: I think so...

**Navy**: I'm blind!

**Rin:** Link? are u there hunny?

**Navy**: (runs into wall)

**Fang**: *throws Max against wall* WAKE UP!

**Kikio**: NO, NOT NAVY, SHE CAN NOT BE BLIND, NOOOOOOOOO

**Link:** Yeah, Bunny-boo

**me:** *barfs*

**Kikio: **~slams head on desk~

**Fang:** * blows loud horn in Max's ear*

**me**: where did you get that?!

**Max:** YAAA!!!!!!

**Fang:** Max ^-^

**Zoey**: I'm leaving, see you.  
**Navy:** BYE! Remember you take Johns room!

**Kikio: **hafta go! nice to meet u Navy

:D

**Link:** Who's John? Can I kill him? Can I-

**me;** NO LEAVING THE BASEMENT

**Kikio: **talk to u on text amy

**me**: kk

byeas

_Kikio has left_

**Max:** Where the hell am I?

**Fang:** Don't ask...

**Navy**: He is my brother and I'll kill you link (starts pounding link)

**Link:** How did you get into Amy's basement?!

**Navy**: Bye Kikio

Who?

**Link:** YOU

**Navy**: I was here. Zoey left

**Link**:... whatever

**George:** I want my wife

**Max:** How did I get here?

**Fang:** Navy kidnapped you.

**Navy**: He was always here

**Max;** Who?

**Fang:** nvm

**Link:** Hi, max. I'm Link.

**George:** I want my wife back now  
**Navy:** No...

**Max**: You took someone's wife?!

**Fang**: She took you, too...

**George:** SHE CALLED HER A %^&*( *&^

**Max:** Meanie

**me:** Max, don't...

**Navy**: Me: You made me mad

**me**: Seriously, Max, don't

**Max:** What kind of freak kidnapps people?!

**me:** HEY!

**Navy**: What did you say to me b$*^%

**Max:** I said you were a meanie and a freak who kidnapps peopl!

**me:** Max, stop...

**Fang:** Seriously, Max...

**Link:** RINNNN!!!!!!!

**me:** shut up, you

**Navy**: 99 ways to kill max 99 wayys to kill max you go through trial and error and you get 100 ways to kill max

**Max:** O_o

**Fang:** We warned you...

**Navy**: twitch

have you ever known what happened to my barbies max? *has miniacle smile*

**Max:** Ummm....

**Fang:** You can't have Max again.

**me;** don't get in the way, Fang...

**Navy**: Am-Am does

**Me: **don't call me that…  
**George:** *Goes into a coma of fear*  
**Navy:** or alanna

Alanna won't be around again

**Link:** *texting Rin* (no joke, we're texting each other XD)

**Navy:** Well *bring out wip and chainsaw* Come here max

**me**: i don't think so, Navy. g2g anyway. Math homework and shower

bu bye

no touching Max

**Navy**: *grumbles* bye

**me**: bye ^-^

9:15 PM _Navy has left_


	4. Texting

_**Some texting between me, Kikio, Rin, and Link…**_

**Rin: **Link?

**Link: **Rin? RIN!!!!

**Kikio:** Hi Amy

**Me:** Hi Kikio.

**Link: **I LOVE YOU RIN!!!!

**Rin: **Hi Link sweetie *blows kisses*

**Kikio: **WHY??

**Link: **Awww, you're so cute

**Me: **You brought it on yourself, Kikio, by approving.

**Rin: ***smooches Link*

**Kikio: **Shut up, Amy.

**Link: **It's so cruel, how I can't be with you.

**Me: **I'm gonna be sick.

**Rin: **Srry, Link, I must go to sleep. I'll dream of you, though.

**Kikio: **Night, Amy.

**Link: **Goodnight Bunny Boo. I will await the sound of thy voice at dawn.

**Me: ***barfs* Night, Kikio.


	5. You Dated a Goddess!

**me**: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

**Kikio**: Nya

!!!!!!

**Rin**: LINKKKK

**Kikio**:: SHUT UP

**Link:** Din!

**me:** Rin

**Link**: Rin!

**Rin:** why u call my Din?

**me**: He always forget's ur name XD

**Link:** I do not!

**Rin:** O.O

**Link:** I could never forget you!

**me:** ya, it's just his ex was named Din

**Link:** NO, she wasn't

**Rin:** O.O

**me**: Uh, ya, she was

**Rin:** ~tilts head~ ummmmm

**me**:... I wonder what would happen if I took Din hostage...

**Link:** You can't

**me:** why not?

**Link:** She's a goddess

**me:** O_o You said that in front of Rin

**Rin:** U DATED A GODDESS???????

**Link:** NO, I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT

**Rin:** u know, that's usually something u should bring up,

**Link:** but she is a goddess, literally

**Link:** That's not my opinion of her or anything

**Rin:** like; o, I am allergic to cats, I dated a FRICKEN GODDESS

**Me**: he did

**Link:** Shut up...

**me:** and a princess

**Rin:** he did?

**Link**: shut up, Amy...

**me**: Yep

**Rin:** he DID?

O.O

**Fang:** Yeah, first a goddess, then a princess, then RIN. I mean, seriously, where did THAT come from. He was doing so well, too.

**Rin:** WHAT

**Fang:** I'm happy with my butt-kick Bona Fide warrior

**Max:** awwwwwww

**Rin:** ~kicks Fangs ass~

**Link:** *snarls* Don't hit hi- O.O

**Link:** I DIDN'T MEAN IT

**Rin:** O.O

**Link:** I"M SORRY I'M SORRY IT'S JUST MY NATURE TO FIGHT FOR THE UNDERDOG!!!!!

**Rin**: HE INSULTED ME GOD DAMN IT

**me**: ...

**Kikio**: ~gets popcorn~

**Fang:** Hey, it's true, you just don't fit with the others. Face it, Link likes the higher-ups

**Link:** IT'S NOT TRUE!!!!

**Kikio**: Rin.............

**Rin:** do u know what i am

?

**Link**: Uhhh.... amazing?

**Link:** Truth

**Rin:** no, i am a god, but i decided not to tell u

**Max:** ... I think he's out cold

**me:** yep

**Rin**: Well, serves him right, if he couldnt even tell me that he dated before this then............

whatever

**me**: Kikio, how is your other half a god? No offense, but doesn't that make you half male?

**me:** and Link gay?

**Kikio**: i dont know, Rin, did u mean goddess?

**me**: me: and Rin a crossdresser?

**Rin:** yeah, i wasnt thinking straght, srry

im furious

**me**: okay, srry if i offended anyone XD

**Kikio**** and Rin:** no, i ( she ) messed up

**Fang:** YOYOYOYO!!! LLLLIIIIINNNNNKKKKKK!!!!!! *hits in head with sledgehammer*

**Rin:** eep


	6. Memory Glitch

**Link:** Huh? W-what? What happened? Where am I?

**Rin:** ~looks down on link~

~eyes slit~

**Link:** umm....

**Rin:** do i need to kick u so u remebner?

**Link:** ... and who are you?

**Kikio: **O.O

**Fang & Max:** O_o

**Kikio: **Fang, i think u hit him a little too hard........

**Fang:** NO FREAKING DUH

**Rin:** ~stunned~

**me**: FANG YOU IDIOT YOU KNOCKED ALL OF MY OBEDIENCE SPELL THINGY OUT OF HIM!!!!!

**Link:** Where am I ?!

**Link:** Where's Zelda?!

**Rin:** ~smacks head~

**Link:** OW! Who ARE you?

**Rin:** MY HEAD STUPID

**Link:** No entiendo

**Kikio:**?

**Fang:** NO entiendo espanol, TONTO **[A/N translation: I don't understand Spanish, STUPID]**

**Kikio: **~gives amy popcorn~

**me**: thanks ^_^

**Rin**: o, ive heard of something like this........... but to get his memory back, We'll need to hit him really hard again

**Link: **what?!?!?!

**Rin:**.............. nothing

hey, sweety, lie down a minute will ya?

**Link**: *turns to Max* Should I?

**Max:** W-what? Why me?

**Kikio: **(max, u wanna hit him really hard?)

**Link:** I don't know. I want your opinion

**Max:** *grins evilly* just lie down, dumba-

**me:** LANGUAGE

**Rin:** sweety, just lie down, u bumped ur head, er...... max wants to um,,,, heal it

^-^

**Link:** Max? Is that this hot chick?

**Fang:** WHAT?

**Max:** * barf*

**Kikio: **O.O o jeez

**Fang:** Why you ******* ******** *******

**Rin:** ~eyes look like fire~

**Max:** Calm DOWN, Fang, GOD

**Rin:** WHY UUUUUUUUUUUUUU

**Kikio: **RIN!

**Rin:** yeah yeah

**me**: * chomps on popcorn* *looks at Kikio* Hostages are entertaining

**Kikio: **Damn right

**Rin:** ~twitch, Link, hunny, just lie down

**Link:** What did I do?

**Link:** Okaaaa------y

**Kikio:**:) Maaaaaaax, ur turn

**Max: **:D *holds up sledgehammer* Link, I'm sorry to have to-

**Link:** GOD, Max, if you want to go out with me THAT badly...

**Max**: * faints*

**Fang:** you are so dead

(a while later)

**Link:** AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Max is MMIINNEE!!!! *grabs unconscious Max and unlocks window and jumps out*

me: O_o Fang...

**Fang:** *stares* You can open the window from the inside?

**me:** WHO CARES?! GO GET MY HOSTAGE AND YOUR FREAKING GIRLFRIEND!!!!

(ELSEWHERE...)

**Link:** ... where am I?

**Max:** *wakes up* W-what?

**Max:** Link?! Why aren't you dead?

**Link:** Dead? Why would I be dead?

**Max: **Cause- oh, nevermind. Put me down.

**Link:** I don't wanna'

**Max:** NOW

**Link:** no


	7. Cn't Sy Vwls!

**Rin**

:HI

**me**: they came back

**me;** i have no idea why

**me:** but now I have three hostages who want to kill each other

**Rin:** Slaps Link, LET MAX GO

**Link:** But I love Max

**Kikio:** I have 1, Rin wants to kill Link

**Max:** *slaps link* No you don't

**Rin:** O.o

**Rin:** ~calms down~ Link,i still have the love letter u sent me, i never deleted it

here, ill send it back

Sent

...........

**me**: there's nothing

**Kikio:** she sent it, wait a sec

**Link**: Why the heck would I send her that? I have a freaking girlfriend!!!

**me:** *slaps self*

**Rin: **~pulls out 2 sets of handcuffs~ ~throws them at fang~ tie him up would u? Then max gets to hit him really hard

:)

**Max:** :D

**Rin:** ~pulls out stun gun~

**me**: You deserve it, Link

**me:** (he really does have a girlfriend)

**Kikio:** Link, if u try to run, u will get zapped

**me**: (actually he has two)

**me:** (three if you count Rin)

**Rin:** stares at Amy~ i have a stun gun, so i suggest u shut up

**Max:** *hits Link really really really hard with sledgehammer*

**Fang:** ................. I think you killed him, hun.

**Max:** yep

**me:** O_O Don't KILL him!!!

**Rin:** uhhhh

i wanted him to get his memory back, not for him to DIEEEEE

Well, i was going to use this in the begining but when he said he didn't know who i was, i decided not to

~flys up, closes eyes, and takes a breath~

~says a chant, and a light beam appears in her hands ~

~Its flys down on Link~

**Rin:** that was a revival potion my Great Angel grandma told me (just Rin, not me)

It should kick in in a few minutes

**Kikio:** WHY DID GRANMA TELL U THIS AND NOT ME??????

**Rin**: i guess im special

**Kikio:** Amy, u still here?

**me**: ya

**Rin:** Is he breathing?

**me**: hmmm..... I don't know, Max is still beating on him. She wants to kill him

**Rin: **~flys over and grabs max by the collar~ plz stop, i only get to use one over those potions every ten years

For people i truly want to save

i want this one to mean something................

not like the last one............

**Me:** Last one?

**Max:** Well, since you said PLEASE

**Rin:** ~eyes brighten~ THANK U~

**Kikio:** WHHAT ABOUT THE LAST ONE????????

**Rin:**....................... when u were born, u had major breathing difficulties

i accidentaly used the spell one u when our parents thought u were dead in the next few minutes u come back

**Kikio:** i thought u said grandma taught u?

**Rin**: idk, i guess when i first did it it just sorta happened

**Rin: **Amy, is he breathing yet?

**Kikio:** Amy?

**me**: hmmm..... i think so

**Rin:** ~sighs~ thank u, max, for stopping beating up on him, it might have saved his life

**Kikio:** Yeah, thnx ^-^

**Rin:** and Fang, im srry for Links inappropriate behavior

**Fang**: *is tied up in the corner, gagged an knocked out*

**Kikio:** Eh?

**me**: hehe.... he was trying to kill him...

**Rin**: ~runs over to help him~

erm, Max! come to CPR

!!!!!!!

im not gonna touch him, cuz ull hit me

really hard

and ill die

like Link

O.O

**Max:** Nah, he's ok. He'll live. He always does

**Link**: Wha'? I' de'?

**Rin:** Smacks link~

~flys up~

**Link:** oowwww... I fe' li' cra'

**Kikio:** do u have ur memory back, or do I have to hit u, and u don't want me to do that

**Link:** Wha'? Ca' se'. I' tha' Ri'?

**Kikio:** speech disorder?

**Rin:** i think i have a spell for that

Yes, its Rin

**Max:** No, I think he's just really weak

**Rin:** well, i know i have a potion in my bag (POTION??????)

~gives Link potion~

itll make u feel better

**Rin:** Link? are u going to drink it?

**Kikio:** amy? u there?

HELLO?

**me**: srry

**Kikio:** hey

**Rin:** so is Link drinking it or what?

**Link:** N'. I do' dri'

**Kikio:** Its not alchahol

**Rin:** Plz, Link, just drink it

**Link:** N'. I do' dri'. Ne' ha' i' m' li'

me: ... I think it's getting worse...

**Rin:** ~runs over and forces him to drink it~ ITS FOR UI!!!

its for........... me

~looks down~

(he drank it, i made him)

**Link:** O'. Alr'.

**Kikio:** xD

huh?

**Rin:** what, u need air?

**Rin:** is he better????!!!1

**Kikio:** Rin, calm down

**Rin:** WELL?

AMY, IS HE?

.................

**Kikio:** im just............. worried

**me**: he's a lil better

he can't say vowels, though

**Rin:** ~sighs~

**Link:** Ys cn

**Max:** Uh, no. You can't

**Rin:** ~giggles a little~

**Link:** My? Wht's wrng wth m?

**Rin**: ~hugs Link~

at least ur better

**Link:** Lv y Rn

**Rin**: ~heh, i love you too~

youll get better, i promise, even if it kills me

:)

**Link:** Y s swt

**Rin:** ill do anything for u, because i love you

do.... do u remeber what happened?

**Link:** hh.... n

**Rin:** well, u fainted when i told.......... something...... and Fang hit u so u would wake up, but.........

um.

**Rin:** does anyone else want to tell him, i cant bring myself

**Kikio:** ugh, ill just send the chat


	8. Los Zapatos de Fang

Yes. Sadly, this is what I do with my limited knowledge of the Spanish language. *sigh* My spanish teacher would be ashamed of me...

**me: ***points at Fang* Quiero tus zapatos

**Fang:** No. No tienes mis zapatos

**me:** Pero me gusta mucho tus zapatos...

**Fang:** Ellos Son mis zapatos

**me:** No es justo!!!

_Tanslation..._

**me: ***points at Fang* I want your shoes.

**Fang:** No. You can't have my shoes.

**me: **But I really like your shoes...

**Fang: **They're my shoes

**me:** It's not fair!!!


	9. FIGHT!

**Kikio:** HEY

srry, caps

**me**: u get my story?

**Kikio:** not yet

itll be hilarious i bet xD

**me**: o, right, I haven't sent it yet XD

**Kikio:** o jeez, dumbbutt!

lol, jk

**Rin:** i have to go shopping, ill brb!

**Kikio:** we dont have too...?

**Rin:** i do,

^-^

**me**: lol

**Rin:** ~walks out door~

**Cloud: **heh

**Cloud:** ~turns into god~ hey yall

**Fang:** I MET JESUS!

**Kikio:** he can..... DO THAT?

**me**: Who? Jesus?

**Kikio:** WHAT WAS HE LIKE??

No, cloud, I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS A GOD?!!!!

**Fang: **He was... weird. But, hey, he saved my life!

**Kikio:** lol

**Cloud: **~looks around~ wheres link?

**Link:** Right here

**Fang:** O_o No one told me Jesus could read minds...

**Cloud**: ~flys around~ u ever notice how Rin is a god, and ur just a mortal? ~sneers~

**Kikio:** uh?

**Link:** I'm not just any mortal

**Kikio:** amy, where the story?

**me**: I sent it

**Cloud: **yeah, but ur still a mortal

Rin could do so much better, dont u think ~evil smile~

**Link:** Well, you're just a mortal too

**Kikio:** ~backs away~ what are u getting at?

**Cloud:** Did i not just say i was a god?

Ugh, humans

**Link: **Shut up

**me:** brb need GUM

**Cloud:** im stronger than u think, stronger than din, rin, and fafore COMBINED

**Kikio:** ~pause~ okies

**me**: GGUUMM

**Fang:** Amy is obsessed with gum...

**me: **GGGUUUMMM!!!!!!!!

**Kikio:** so am I!

**Cloud:** are we going on with rping, or what?

**Kikio:** yeah yeah

**Cloud:** so as i was saying! im the stronger out of most the gods in the universe

**Fang:** WELL, I WAS HEALED BY JESUS!!!

**Rikku:** We know Fang

**Cloud: **so i think Rin would prefer me over u any day

**Link:** Why don't you ask her that?

**Kikio:** O_o

**Cloud:** shes out dumbass

**Kikio:** EEP LANGUGE!

**Link:** I mean when she comes back

**Link: **bastard

**Kikio:** well, im in the mood for a fight

**Cloud:** ~eyes slit~

**me**: No.

**me:** Down, boy

**Cloud:** wuss

**Kikio:** ok, he has a mind of his own! ~backs away even more~

**Cloud:** ur all just big wusses

**Link:** Talk is cheap!

**Cloud:** ~charges an attack ~

**Rin:** ~walks through door~

~sees Cloud charging to fire at link~

**Cloud:** ~fires~

**Rin:** ~jumps in way of attck~

**Link: **RIN!!!!


	10. Trio Spell

**It takes me forever to edit these things so I'm not even gonna bother to post the whole Din thing. But I'll just summarize it. Basically, Din, Link's ex, showed up and attacked Rin and then Link and Rin got in a huge fight with Din and ya... Oh, and the whole Jesus thing is referencing one of my other stories...**

**Rin: **UGHHHH

**Rin: **aaaaaaaahhhgggggggg

**Link:** AMY!!!! WHere's Jesus?!?!?!

**Fang:** He left

**Link:** damn

**Kikio: **ow ow ow

ugh, i get a fraction of what she feels, and im hurting so bad right now! this is only about one millionth of what she feels

**Rin**: ~lying soundlessly on ground~

**Kikio: **UGH

**Link:** WHERE IS JESUS WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!?!?!

**Kikio: ** ~winces~

**Link: ***summons Nayru*

**Rin:** ~starts coughing blood~

**Link:** Nayru, help Rin!

**Nayru:** *nods*

**Kikio: **~starts coughing blood too~

**Kikio: **ugh, i-i cant belive cloud!!!

~stares at cloud thru foggy eyes~

**Nayru: ***sends blue light at Rin and Riah*

**Kikio: ** n-no, direct it towards her, i-im fine!

**Kikio: **~tries to stand up but falls~

**Luke** ~enters room~ RIAH!!

**Luke: **~helps riah up~

**Nayru:** *speaks to Link in Hylian*

**Link:** *grinds teeth* Alright...

**Link:** *summons Farore and Din*

**Kikio: **w-whatd he say??? ~coughs some more~

**Kikio: **DIN?

~glares~ bad mistake, she hates rin

**Link:** * takes deep breath* I know what I'm doing

**Rin:** ~coughs more~ L-link?

**Din:** *charging aattck at Rin*

**Link:** FARORE!!!!

**Farore:** *nods*

**Rin:** e-eep

**Link: **It's okay, Rin, it's okay. There's a plan

**Kikio: **I TOLD Y-YOU! ~coughs more blood~

**Din:** *fires*

**Farore: *** deflects at Nayru*

**Luke:** TAKE IT EASY! ~wraps tape at around Kikio's side~

**Nayru:** * turns into powerful healing spell and deflects at Farore*

**Farore**: * sends at Rin*

**Rin:** unnnnnnnnn

wh-what happened?

**Farore: *** banishes Din*

**Link:** You okay, Rin?

**Rin:** n-no ~coughs nmore blood~

**Link: **Shit

**Link: **Bring her back

**Kikio: **s-shes losing blood!

**Din:** *reappears*

**Din Farore & Nayru: *** repeat process*

**Rin: **~eyes start to close more~ i-im not giving up!

**Link:** *bites lip* is it helping at all?

**Rin:** i-i d-dont k-know,

**Fang:** What the heck are they doing?

**Link:** I'll explain later

**Link: **Do it again, gals

**Din Farore & Nayru: ***repeat process*

**Rin:** ~looks over towwars Din~ w-what is S-S-S-SHE doinf h-here?

**Rin: **UGHHHH it h-hurts!

**Link: **It's okay, Rin. Nayru and Farore'll make sure you're ok

**Kikio: ** I-IT DIDNT HURT THE LAST TIME U GUYS DID IT! WHATS WRONG NOW?

**Rin: **AHHGGGGGGG

**Kikio: **RIN

!!!!!!!

**Nayru: ***chants*

**Rin:** ~body goes limp~

**Kikio: **WHWATS HAPPENING?

**Link: **RRIINN!!!!!!!!

**Kikio: ** ~tries to walk over but falls over again~

**Nayru:** *lays hand on Rin and closes eyes*

**Rin:** unnnnnnhhh?

**Rin:** ~winces~ i-i dont know, it made me come back to life, but w-will it make me any better?

**Nayru:** *still has eyes closed*

**Rin:** w-whats wrong with him?

**Link:** her

**Rin:** er, her, sorry

**Link:** 's okay. I'm not sure what she's doing... she's the goddess of wisdom, love, and healing...

**Rin: **i-i love y-you

**Link:** *smiles sadly* Love you, too

**Cloud:** ugh, enough sappiness

**Link:** Shut up

**Kikio: **O_o

**Kikio: **~gets up and charges at Cloud~

**Cloud:** ~fires again~

**Kikio: **UGHHH

**Rin:** AAAAGHHHHH

**Link:** *protects RIn*

**Rin:** i-it doesnt matter, i-if hes going to fire at riah, then it hurts me, no matter what

**Luke: **~gets out axe and throws it at Cloud~

**Cloud:** heh, u think that will hurt me?

~deflects it~

**Farore:** *shoots green light at Cloud*

**Luke: **O_o?

**cloud: ~**dodges~

*green light chases Cloud*

**Cloud: **like i said, im better than almost all gods

**cloud:** ~holds out hand and it disappears~

**Kikio: **ugh

i-is it possible to get rid of him?

**Farore, Din, and Nayru:** *gang up on Cloud*

**Cloud:** heh, im gone, cya later rin ~blows kiss at rin and disappears~

**Link:** * snarls*

**Rin:** ~uncauntious~

**Link: **Rin?!

**Rin:** ~stays asleep~

**Link:** RIN!!!!!!


	11. The New Hostage

**I can't find the chat that included it, but if you didn't know, I kicked Max out. To keep it simple she was being annoying. There was more but let's keep it rated T here...**

**Kikio: **U there?

Srry bout that

Don't ignore me!!

**Rin: **pls?

**Kikio: ** Amy??

Ahghhhhhh

**Kikio: ** nya??

AMY???

**me**: hi

**Kikio: ** Srry...AGAIN

I hate my iPod :/

**me**: s'okay

**Rin:** what did the letter say?

**Link:** N-nothing

**Link:** You know how it is, obsessive ex...

**Rin:** ???

No, no I dont

**Link:** Well, it's bad

**Link:** Ask Fang, he should know

**Link:** He's got and ex

**Kikio: **WHAT DID IT SAY????

**Fang:** *grabs letter*

**Link:** GIVE THAT BACK

**Fang: ***reads out loud*

**Kikio: **Hm?

**Fang: **"My dearest Link: It is a shame you are nowhere to be found lately. I know you told me a while ago that things would not work out with you being a mortal and I being a goddess. But I feel in my heart that if I look for you I will find you. And I can be with you. I will wait for you. Forever. Love, Din"

**Link:** I swear, Rin, this is completely one-sided

**Rin:** O-o

O..... K??

**Rin:** -under breath- why???

**Link:** I swear, I'm not looking for her, I'm not waiting for her, and she is a TERRIBLE poet

**Rin:** yeah...... I HATE this....

Why so much drama....... I don't have a normal life and all, I'm never with Kikio, being a goddess and all....

**Kikio: **it's true, she's never accually with me..... Sad

**Kikio: ** hey?

**me**: hi

**Rin: **.... Hey

**Link:** Din's a bitch

**Kikio: **LANGUAGE

**Rin:** ..... No naughty mouth, or I'll be forced to break u....

**Link:** You wouldn't

**me:** Fang, should I hold Brigid hostage?

**Fang: **Can I kill her?

**me:** no

**Fang: **Then hell no

**me:** How about Nudge?

**Fang:** **You're** making my ears bleed, we don't need her

**me:** Lissa?

**Fang:** Can I kill HER?

**Kikio: **uh.... Yeah, she would accually, how do u think I broke my arm.... TWICE???

**me**: ............ maybe...

**me:** cause of Rin?

**me: **Okay, Fang, give me a suggestion

**Fang:** Max

**me:** no

**Kikio: ** u geussed it!

**me**: Link? Suggestion?

**Link**: I don't know

**me:** Midna?

**Link:** Can't get to her. She trapped in the twilight realm

**me: **Right

**me:** Kikio? Any ideas?

**Kikio: ** what?

**me**: I need another hostage

I should take dumbledore...

even though he's dead...

maybe someone from FFX

maybe Rikku...

that should be interesting...

YEAH

**me: **Guys, I'll be back. I'm going to kidnap Rikku. I left food by the stairs for you

**Kikio:** NYA!!

**Fang: **She'll be a while

**Link: **She has a really bad sense of direction

**Fang:** Like Ryoga

**Link:** Yes, very much like Ryoga

**Kikio:** Huh?

Who?

Ahhhhhh

Huh?

**Fang:** Ryoga can't walk 100 meters on a straight road without getting lost

**Kikio: **Srry, iPod kicked me off again

**Link: **What's an ipod?

**Fang:** O_o

**Fang: **Did you grow up under a rock?!

**Link:** No, I grew up in a tree

**Fang: **Seriously!?

**Link:** Yep

**Link:** You?

**Fang:** In a dog crate

**Link: **That's rough, man

**Fang: **I know

**Rin:** a divice she uses for music and online... Or something

**Fang: **Oh

**Link: **Fifty bucks says she'll bring back a guy instead of Rikku

**Fang:** I'll take that

**Link:** You're on

**Kikio: **Blah

O GOD

I HATE THIS

**Link:** Hate what?

**Kikio: **My ipod

**Fang:** oh

**Kikio:** X(

It's stoopid, it keeps kicking me off so I have no clue what's going on!!!

**Link: **Poor you. I couldn't think of anything worse. OH WAIT!!! Maybe BEING STUCK IN A PHYCOMANIAC'S BASEMENT!!!!!!!!!

**Rin:** Dont yell at riah!!

**Link:** Sorry, hun

**Rin:** hmph

**Kikio: **Whats up with u rin??

**Link:** Was it something I said?

**Rin: **(bad case of PMS)

**Fang: **PMS?

**Link: **God, Fang, you DID grow up in a dog crate..

**Fang: **You didn't believe me?!

**Link:** nope

**Kikio:** Rib

**Rin**: x(

**Link:** Poor baby :(

**Kikio: **srry, it's not anyone but mother nature making her upset x(

**Link: **Fang doesn't get it. And I'm not about to explain

**Rin: **grr I hate EVERYONE!!!!!

**Kikio: **eh heh, srry, guys, she gets REALLY bad PMS

**Link:** You don't hate everyone, hun

**Kikio: **ummm, Fang, come over here and I'll tell u

**Fang:** Uh... okay...

**Link:** AWKWARD

**Kikio: **-whispers to Fang the horrible secrets of a girls life-

**Rin:** SHUT UP RIAH

**Kikio: **shhhhhhh sweety, it's not ur fault....

**Link:** O_o Amy posted 7 chapters

**Link:** freak

**mysterious voice:** I HEARD THAT LINK!!!

**Link:** AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! SHE'S EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!

**MV:** Damn right I am! You are soooo gonna get it when I come back with Rikku!!!!

**Fang:** *rolling on floor clutching head* I'M SCARRED!!!!

**Link:** *kicks Fang* Stop acting like a two-year-old

**MV:** You were bound to find out sooner or later

**Fang: **I choose LATER!!!!

**MV: **Just shut up

**me:** I'M BAAAAAAAAACK!!!!

**Link:** Oh no

**me: **I brought Rikku!

**Fang:** HA!!! Dude you SOOOOOOO owe me fifty bucks!!!!

**Link: **Too bad, I'm broke

**Rikku: **Ummm....


	12. Rin Needs a Miracle

_YAY! Don't ask where I got the inspiration for all of this Jesus stuff. Four words: St. Fang of Boredom..._

**Rin:** ~blinks~ uhhh?

**Fang: **HOLY ******* IT'S JESUS!!!!!

**Rikku:** WHERE? WHERE?

**Link:** Rin!

**Rin:** l-l ink............ ~falls back asleep (shes not dead, dont worry)

**Link:** Rin...

**me: **You okay, Kikio?

**Kikio: **~falls asleep too~

**me**: ... I'll take that as a no...

**Kikio: **( NOT DEAD)

lol

**me**: lol

**Jesus:** ... Wussup, dudes?

**me;** O_o

**Fang:** Hey, man!!!!

**Axel:** ~walks in~ um, wow

**Jesus:** This basement is so NOT rad.

**Kikio: **WHAT THE ******* IS JESUS DOING HERE?

**Jesus:** You should totally pimp it up

**Fang**: He's here for a fanfiction

**Fang: **And I agree

**Sora:** um, wow, i didnt know jesus takled like that

**Jesus:** I'm got some gnarly stuff we could decorate with

**me:** SORA!!!!! MY FRIEND WANTS TO KEEP YOU IN HER BASEMENT! SHE TOLD ME TO TXT HER IF I FOUND YOU!!!

**Rin:** ~wakes up~ unnnnnnnnnn............. hm?

**Jesus:** The chick's awake, dawg!

**me:** O_o

**me:** Jesus, you're scaring me

**Kikio: **~wakes yup too~ h-hes my h-hostage, heh, leave him... alone ~falls back asleep~

**me**: darn

**Rin:** O_o WHAT T-THE F*** IS J-JESUS DOING HERE?

**Jesus:** I'm here to be kool, dawg

**Rin: **~cringes and holds side~

u-u got here a b-bit late

**Jesus:** Need some help with that, babe?

**Link:** *glares*

**Rin: **uhhhhh ~glares with Link~

**Jesus: ***wiggles fingers* I got radical powers, man

**Link:** *rolls eyes* we know

**Rin: **i-i wold rather l-link help me thnx ~whispers~ i-i dont want to b-be TOUCHED by that c-crazy old man~

**Jesus: **But I could totally fix your not-so-gnarly.. um... side wound?

**Fang:** He fixed my spinal cord

**Fang:** Good as new

**Rin:** y-yeah, but still, i want link to help me ~~~

**Link:** I don't think I'm good enough for this, RIn...

**Rin: **u-ur good enough for anything s-sweety

**Link:** *smiles sadly* but I'm not capable of the things he can do. Amy, give him an anti-OC potion

**me:** *sigh* it was fun, though..,.

**me**: alright

**Rin: **an anti- whaty?

**me**: Jesus, drink this potion. It's Randy Jackson brand energy drink

**Jesus:** *drinks*

**Link:** OC. Meaning he's out of character

**Jesus: **W-what?

**Rin: **UR HAVING HIM DRINK BEFORE HE TOUCHES ME????????/ AHHHHHHHHH

**Jesus: **What has thou dons't to me?

**Rin: **uhhhhhh

**Jesus:** Where am I?

i-i still dont think i want him touching me o_O

**Jesus:** Thee arent in thees best times. Allow me to assist

**RiN: **~tries to crawl away~ HEEEEEELPPPP

**Link: ***squeeses Rin's hand* It'll only take a second, hun

**RIn:** ~smiles~ as long as ur by my side~

**Link: **:)

**Rin:** ok, get on with it doc

~closes eyes~

**Jesus: *** lays hand on Rin's stomach*

**Jesus:** * closes eyes*

**Rin:** HUH?

**Jesus: ***lets go and opens eyes*

**Jesus:** My work is done

**Rin: **ehhh...

**Link:** S'okay

**Link:** He's gone now


	13. Another Memory Glitch

**Rin: **~still twitching~

**Kikio: **still uncauntios~

**Link:** uuuhhhhhhhh...

**Luke:** i-is she alright?????/

**Link:** How should I know?

**Luke: **I DONT KNOW! ~runs around in a panicked circle~

**Rin:** ~flys up and light appears in hands~ here give this too her

~Hands Luke light~

**Luke:** um, ok, where do i put it?

**Rin: **on her tummy

**Luke:** ~puts light on tummy~

**Kikio: ** ~gasps for air~ where am i, w2ho are u, huh?

**me**: O_o

**Rin: **~sighs~

**Kikio: **~looks around~ who are u people?

**Rin: **O_o

**me**: This looks too familiar...

**Rin: **NOT AGAIN!

.

**me**: Fang? Would you do the honors?

**Fang:** Certainly

**Rin:** NOOOOOOO

~blocks fang~

**Fang: **Hey!

**Kikio: **stay away from riah ~glares~

**Fang: **It worked for Link

**Kikio: ** U ALMOST KILLED HIM!

**Fang: **But I got his memory back!!!

**Rin:** no, I GOT HIS MEMORY BACK

**Fang:** Beside, that was M.... M-m.... :'( MAX!!! :'( :'(

**Kikio: **hm, max?

I have her as a hostage ^-^

**Fang:** O_O GIMME

**Kikio: **Lets max out of closet~

**Max:** FANGGGG

**Kikio: **fang?

whos that?

huh?

**Fang:** Kikio, I'll give you fifty bucks for her

**Kikio: **what are bucks?

**Rin:** O_o

**Fang: **DOLLARS

**Kikio: **uh huh........ and....what are those?

**Fang:** Valuable things

**Rin: **U HAVE TO BE KINDDING ME

**Kikio: **would u explain the words u just said?

**Rin:** o my god

**Fang:** EVERYONE ELSE, I'll give you $200 for Max

**Kikio: **nuh uh, Max is MINE and no one else an take her away without my permissoin

~looks triumphant~

**Fang:** *grabs Max and takes her to Amy's basement*

**Fang:** :p

**Rin:** HOW DO U KNOW ALL THESE WORDS?

**Kikio: **nya?

**Fang: **Max is staying here.

**me:** Whatever. I don't care

**Kikio: **~glares at fang~ NYAH! ~leaps at fang and claws at eyes~

**Max:** Me stay here

**Kikio: **UGH IM SICK OF THIS CHARADE! ~turns into cloud~

**me**: O_o


	14. Oo

**Riah**: Luke: wait, WHERES RIAH?

**Cloud:** heh, like ill ever tell you

**Rin: **GIVE HER BACK!

**me**: LLIINNKKK!!!!!!

**Link: **What?

**me:** You got a letter

**Link:** WHo from?

**me; **Dumbledore

**Link:** O_o

**Link:** um.... why?

**Cloud:** o sweety ~holds rins chin~ why would i do that?

**Link**: * clubs Cloud with sledgehammer*

**Rin:** ~smacks away~ ew

**Cloud: **~looks at Link~ im immortal stupid, that doesnt work

~flys up~

**Link:** Anyway, why'd Dumbledore send me a letter?

**me:** He wants you to be his new DADA teacher

**Link:** O_o

**Link:** But I don't do magic.

**Rin:** Um, idk, but dont u CARE THAT HES HITTING ON ME?

**Cloud: **~winks at Rin~

**Rin: **~looks away gross~

**Link**: x-( DIE CLOUD

**Cloud:** heh

**me**: he says you'll be returned to me at the end of the year, and he's paying ME!!! So get going!!!!!!

**Link:** Gotta' deal with Cloud first

**me:** NOW.

**Rin:** UR GOING TO HOGWARTS?

**Link:** NO

**me;** YES

**LINK:** NO

**ME**: YES

**LINK**: NO

**Rin:** NOOOOOOOOOO

**me**: Yes. Bye, Link

**Link:** NO! I don't wanna leave Rin!!!

**Riah**: ~stands in front of Link~ I WONT ALLOW IT

**me**: * snaps figners* * Link vanishes*

**Max & Rikku:** O_o

**Rin:** WHAT HAVE U DONE????/

**me**: You can visit him if you want

**me**: He'll be back on the nineteenth

that's only two and a half weeks

**Rin:** I DONT WANNA GO, GET HIM BACK HERE NOW! ~hands light up with fire~

**Cloud:** u know, thats kind of hot (no pun intended)

**me**: tsk tsk tsk I'm the writer I'm technically immortal in any RPs

**Rin: **~glares at Amy~ Kikio wasnt....... ~looks away and wonders where Kikiois~

**me**: Riah wasn't what *raises eyebrow * Kikio has as much power as I do

**Cloud: **ill tell u for a kiss

**Rin:** O_o

~thinks in mind~ what do i do, betray link, or get Kikio back?/

**Rin:** im sure link will forgive me, i hope......... ~kisses cloud~ ~spits~

**Rin:** ewwwwwwwwwwww

**Cloud:** Nya, ur so cute :3

**Rin:** NOW TELL ME!

**Cloud:** heh, ~snaps fingers and Kikio appears next to him~

**Rin:** KIKIO!!!

**Cloud:** ~snaps fingers again~ nuh uh, i said id show u her, but now to get her back, we have to do something..... extreme....... ~smiles slyly~

**Rin:** O MY GOD

O_o Link would never forgive you...

**Rin:** i know..........

UGH!

~fire auroura beam at Cloud~

**Cloud: **~deflects it~

**Cloud:** heh, too bad

**Cloud:** hm, Kikio or link?

heh heh heh

**Me:** what about Link?

WHAT ABOUT LINK?!

**Kikio**: (no he means should Rin choose link or Kikio) lol

**me**: oh

**Cloud: **but i CAN take him from hogwarts if i wanted................. hm, thats a good idea! ~flys away to hogwarts~

**me**: he's protected by Dumbledore there. NO ONE can touch him. NO ONE

**Rin:** well, cloud doesnt follow the rules

**Cloud:** ~flys back with Link uncauntious in his arms~

**Rin:** O_o told ya

**me**: LINK!

**Link:** * wakes up* let go of me, perv

**me:** How'd you know he was a perv?

**Rin: **well, he is

**Link:** I was watching Rin through a special ball thingy i found in the school

**Rin:** awwwwwwwww, cute but..... stalkerish...... O_o

**Link:** Hehe, sorry...

**Rin: **WHAT DO I DOOOOO?

**Link:** What do you mean? I stopped watching after you ki- ki-k-ki....

**Link:** You know what I mean

**Rin:** sorry about that... ~looks ashamed~

**Link**: Don't worry 'bout it

**Rin:** B-B-B-B-B HE SAID IF I WANTED RIAH BACK, I NEEDED TOO.........TOO....TOO.......... AHHHHH

**Link: **You needed to... to wha-... oh...

**Link: **I get it...

**Rin: **.

AHHHHH


	15. Banishing Dances

***cue drumroll* YESSS!!! I was bored so I updated this, even though I said I wasn't going to. Anyway, this is a fairly new convo and a bunch of stuff happened between the last chapter and this one (yes, it goes on even though you don't know...), so I guess I have to fill you in. To be brief, Max and Fang now have a daughter (Twila) as does Rin (Sakura ((Saku))) Link got a job at hogwarts but got fired at the end of the year, Link set Rikku free (GRRRR) I've become very attached to Fang because of the whole "Fang will be the first to die" thing, I took Max back, Link got uberlyawesome defenses, Rin found her brother (Ren) and father (... forget his name) and found out she had a twin sister (Yin), Link almost died a couple of times, Max and fang got in a huge fight (they made up, don't worry) about redheads, and... yeah. that's basically everything that's important...**

**_-*-_**

**me**: *chants* Death to Miggy. Death to Miggy * lights tiki torches and does banishing dance*

**Rin:** O_o......

**Max:** O_o She scares me...

**Kikio: **~nods slightly~ ~too scared to mutter anything~

**me**: *chanting* Death to Brigid. Death to Brigid...

**Max: **YESS!!! I take that back, I love her...

**Axel:** pfffftttttt......... ~trying rlly hard not to break out in laughter~

**me**: *chanting* Mr. Chu will rule over you

**Max:** ...

**me:** *out of rhythm* That rhymed!!!

**Kikio: **whos brigid?

**Max:** Of course it did...

**Axel:** why do i hang out with u ppl?

**me:** *chanting again* Death to Lissa. Death to Lissa.

**Rin:** that i can agree with

she got on my nerves......

**Kikio: **SHE MADE OUT WITH FANG, LETS HANG HER ON THE FLAGPOLE

**Rin:** woah.. Kikio, no need for that..

**Kikio: **meh -_-

**Max: **DEATH TO LISSA

**me:** DEATH TO LISSA

**me & Max: ***chanting around Tikki torch* DEATH TO LISSA. DEATH TO LISSA.

**Fang:** -_-

**Kikio: **why the annoyed face fang?

**Fang: **Can't you people cut her some slack?

**me:** *gasp*

**Max:** Never!

**Everyone:** ~gapes~

**Fang:** What?

**Kikio: **WATS WRONG WITH U

CUT HER SLACK 4 WAT

**Rin:** shhh, Kikio.... we know hes insane, but still...

**Fang:** She's just some human who's naturally attracted to me. It's not her fault I'm so amazing and have awesome hair and muscles and-

**Max: ***smacks* EGOMANIAC!!!

**Kikio: **hes so much quieter in the book...

**me: **I think he picked up a disease since I kidnapped him...

**Rin:** haha! even axel doesnt think hes that amazing..

**Axel:** ~admiring himself in the mirror~ huh?

**Rin:** nofin, nofin..

**Axel:** ~shrugs and continues to look at himself~

**Rin:** maybe i was wrong..

**Me: **big time

**Max:** _ Fang's ego is bigger than China...

**Axel:** ~looks over~ im not evn that obsessed with me..

**Rin: **both of u guys has millions of adoring fangirls, so i can see why..

links the only guy here whos sane.

**Fang:** I have a million more fangirls than HIM! Just look at how many adoring fanfictions there are about me!!

**Link:** *nods* Thank you

**Kikio: **so funny ud say that rin...

**Rin:** its freakin tru!

**Kikio: **~shrugs~ shes right...

**Axel:** there are cosplay outfits of me

**Kikio: **its tru, ive seen em..

**Twila:** Bumma nights! Eberybody's beeling sexy!!!!!

**Max:** Twila! Don't listen to Daddy's music!!

**Twila: **Sowwy...

**Everyone:** pfffffttttttt........

**Kikio: **fangs music...?! pfffffttttttt.......

**Fang:** In my defense, that is an AWESOME song...

**Rin:** ~tries desperatly hard not to laugh~

**me**: Mhm... whatever you- OMYGOSH IS THAT-----*buries self in Fang's CDs*

**Fang: ***smirks*

**Kikio: **o get ovr urself _

**Rin:** ~shrugs~

**Axel:** ~too absorbed with himself in the mirror~

**me**: *singing loudly* SUMMER NIGHTS!!! EVERYBODY'S FEELING SEXY!!!

**Max:** AMY!!!! THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE!!!!

**Saku**: ~wakes up from her nap~ hmm...?

**Rin:** shhhhhh...........

**Saku: **whys amy singing?

**Rin:** cuz shes a freak..

**Saku: **she is... ~looks at amy~ arent u?

**me**: SOONER OR LATER YOU'RE GONNA COME AROUND! YOU'LL BE SORRY WHEN YOU FIGURE OUT THAT I WAS ALWAYS EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED!!!!

**Max:** Pfftt, Fang listens to Michelle Branch XD

**Fang:** Shut up...

**Rin: **~mutters~ someone should shove her in a dog cage...

**Max:** *cowers* No cages...

**Saku:** michelle branch?

**Rin: **srry srry!

i didnt mean it max, srry srry :|

**Max: **Mhm... s'okay *is hiding behind computer*

**Saku: **~gasps~ mommy made max scared! BAD MOMMY

**Rin:** o wow...

shh, sakura, quiet...

**Twila:** *crawls over to Max* Baba?

**Saku:** max, im srry for mommys bad behaviour!

**Rin: **shes getting more grown up evryday..

its very scary..

**Saku: **my mommy needs to learn her manners

**Rin:** ~end of mouth twitches~

**Fang:** Twila's Mommy needs to learn to get over her past...

**Fang:** *hauls Max out from behind computer*

**Kikio: **thats insensitive

if shes scared, tell her its okay, not tell her to get ovr it

ya jerk -_-

**Fang**: *shrugs* Guess I'm a bit lacking in the sentimental department

**Kikio: **maybe someone should hammer it into u....

like i hammered it into rin not to slap me

**Rin:** ~shudders~ evrytime i did i got **tazared**

**Kikio: **~nods~

**Max:** Eep! Tasers! * hides again*

**Fang:** *sighs* Max...

**Fang: **You've never even been shocked by one.

**Rin: **crap...

**Rin:** and i hope u nvr do... ~shudders~


	16. Pizza!

**me**: my oneshots are always random

**Riah**: Lol

**Fang: **Yeah, I happened to see the one you're working on

**me:** You mean World Domination?

**Fang: **Yeah, that one

**me:** ^-^ I love that one!!!

**Fang**: It's totally dumb!

**me:** It is not!!!

**Max****:** What's not dumb about Tidus and Angel taking over the world?!

**me:** EVERYTHING!!!!!

**Fang:** Just shut up

**Riah**: XD

**me:** You shut up, Fang

**Fang:** Make me

**me:** *puts tape over mouth*

**Fang:** *glares*

**Rin:** scary fang.....

**me**: Hannah says he's a creeper

**Fang:** *rips off tape*

**Fang:** Hannah's a creeper

**me:** Why?

**Fang:** She locks people in her basement

**me:** Hmph

**me:** She does not

**Fang:** Yeah she does. She has hostages. I've talked to them

**me:** Yeah, but they're not people

**Rin:** were all hostages.....

**me**: They're just robots in human form

**Riah**: ^-^

**me**: I though you weren't a hostage, Rin...?

**me:** *looks at watch* What's taking Link so long?

**Fang**: I don't know, maybe the fact that you put heavy chains around his feet so he couldn't go kill JP...

**Riah**: nobodys a hostage in my closet, she just wants to feel special

**Me**: Oh. Okay

**me:** But seriously, Link went to pick up my pizza two hours ago

**Fang:** You shouldn't have chained his feet together!!!

**me:** It was a necessary procedure!!!!

**Fang:** WHatever stops the tears...

**me: **That's my line!!!

**Fang:** Whatev

**me: **Don't whatev me!!!!

**Max****:** This, ladies and gentlemen. is what happens when Amy doesn't get her pizza

**me:** I WANT MY PIZZA

**Rin:** scary amy xD

**me**: SHUT UP

**Fang:** *stuffs in closet*

**Max****:** ... But there are no closets down here, Fang...

**Rin:** o_o she is scary.....

**Fang:** Umm.... *stares at wall* Then where'd she go?

**Max****:** If you killed Amy, Fang...

**Fang:** Oh, come off, Max, if I killed Amy you'd love me for the rest of my life

**Max****:** I'd love you for the rest of your life even if you didn't kill Amy

**Twila**: EEEEEWww

**Twila:** Love bicky

**Rin:** to the pit of doom, riah has one in her closet!!

**Twila:** Ooohh!!! I drow Robert Battinson in bit of doom, right?

**Max****:** Umm, sweetie, please don't go try to find Robert Pattinson, that wouldn't end well...

**Max****: **He's a vampire, you know

**Fang:** Umm... not really, Max...

**Max****: **Huh?

**Fang**: He only plays a vampire

**Fang:** Like if he plays me, that doesn't make him me. He just pretends to be me.

**Max****:** Oh

**Max****:** Hollywood is confusing...

**Rin:** very

**Link:** *comes through door panting* Here's... your pizza... * hands it over and collapses*

**me:** YAY!!!!! **devours**

**Rin:** muah!! ~kneels by link~ r u ok?!

**Link:** Y-yeah... it's just extremely... hard to... walk with... four hundred... pound... chains... on your... ankles...

**Rin:** if u promise not to kill anyone, amy might take them off

**Link**: Yeah, well, this is as much as you can get Amy to trust someone...

**me:** Yes, but you said you were gonna kill Jimmy P and I can't let that happen cause then I'll never know if Fang dies or not

**Link:** I was never really gonna kill him, Amy...

**me:** I don't believe you

**Rin:** take the chains off, or I will

**me**: Fine *chains vanish*

**Rin:** YAY!!!!

**me**: Twila, be a doll and go get me some lemonade from upstairs

**Twila:** *nods and leaves*

**Max****: **You can't use her like that!!!

**me: **Sure I can. She's my OC

**Max****:** She's my daughter!!

**me: **Yes, well, I obviously have more power over her as her creator

**Max****:** Shut up!

**me:** *shrugs*

**Link:** *rubs ankles* Man...


	17. Midna!

**Riah**: Hola =]

**me**: hi

**Riah**: Wuzzup? =D

**me**: reading fanfiction 3

**Riah**: Lawl. . . I'm writing my story thing. . . But I need something awkward for Rin and Link. . . That will screw their relationship, but obviously not permanently. . .

**me**: Zelda!!!

**Riah**: =D Haha, and Zelda will find my house and Link! I should fit Din somewhere in there too .

**Link:** Do you HAVE to write this story?

**Rin**: Ooh, fun fun _

**Riah: **Yep. Everyone's already read the first 47 pages, and are killing me for more. . . My parents made cookies

And they're yummmyyy 3

**me**: COOKIES I WANT!

**Riah**: *gives you cookies *

**Rin:** *bites into one * My gawd these are good. . .

**Riah: **I helped make them!

**Rin:** *spits cookie out *

**Link: *** IMing*

**Riah**: D: What? You don't trust me?

**me**: Why is Link always on IM? None of the people he knows have the technology to be on...

**Rin:** *peers over his shoulder * Who're you IMing?

**Riah: ***shrugs *

**Link:** * quickly closes screen* No-one...

**me:** Yeah, Link, who?

**Rin:** . . . ?

**Riah: **FESS UP!! YOU WERE DEALING DRUGS OVER THE INTERNET, WEREN'T YOU?!

**Rin:** *smacks forehead *

**Link: **What?! No!

**Riah**: then what were you doing?! D:

**Link:** I was talking to someone!!! * mutters* Where would I get drugs anyway?

**Riah**: . . . I dunno? Why is it such a secret who you were talking to? *ties Link to chair, turns off lights except for one book lamp, looks like a scene from those detective movies * WHO?!

**Link:** It's nothing illegal...

**me:** It is is you're muslim...

**Link:** SHUT UP

**me:** No need to get defensive about it...

**Riah**: Are you Muslim link? Are you? D:

**Link:** Uh, no...

**Riah**: We're talking about Muslims in Social Studies xD and the middle east. . . Okay, if it's not illegal you can tell us who you were talking to D:

**me**: We did that last year. But this year my history teacher was talking about how if someone ch-  
**Link:** * slaps hand over mouth* Shut. Up.

**Riah**: Tell us D: Or I'll make you watch spongebob reruns

(my biggest threat xD)

**Link:** And I was just talking to them! It's not a crime!!!

**Riah**: (I introduced that to my friends. . They all had gigglefits)

**Riah: **okay! But who was it? Zelda? Din? *points flashlight in his face * FESS UP

**Link:** * shields eyes* Neither

**Riah**: Then WHO?

**me**: * sings* I know who it iiiissss, I know who it iiisssss!!!!!

**Rin:** *shakes head * Leave the poor guy alone Dx

**Riah: **spill!! Or no cookies for you D:

**Link:** You wouldn't give me any cookies anyway

**Riah**: D: Why does everyone doubt in me?

But I was talking to Amy D: Whoo?

**me**: One of his lady friends...

**Riah**: I'm sure xD

**me**: not to mention any names * coughs* MI-  
**Link:** * slaps hand over mouth* How many times do I have to tell you to shut up?!

**Riah**: Midna? =]

(Only girl I would think Link would know who's name starts with Mi. . )

**me**: I don't see the problem, Link...

**Rin:** Okay, he was talking to Midna(?) So what?

**me**: I don't know, what IS the big deal, Link? Hmmmmmmmm?????

**Link:** Nothing... there's no problem

**me:** mhmmmmm

**Riah**: So why did you hafta close the chat? Hmmm?

D: are you a stinky no good cheater? Huh?

**Link: **No!

**Rin:** *is gonna let us handle this one * . . .

**Riah: **then why was it such a secret?! D:

**me**: Did you know that if a Muslim man thinks his significant other is cheating on him he can have her stalked and killed?

truth

**Riah**: ._.

I'm scared

I'll hafta talk to Mr. Wolfe about that (yes, we call him Mr. Wolfey 3)

**Riah: ***got off topic, turns back to Link * WELL?!

* room gets really dark*

**Me: **Hm?

**Link:** * looks nervous*

**Riah**: Oohhh Dark 3

**Rin:** *looks around * Huh?

* black pixels appear and turn into tall, beautiful, scantily clad woman*

**Link:** * bites lip*

**Rin:** *looks at her * Hn?

**Saku:** *wanders into room * Mommy? Why's it so dark? *looks at women * Nyah?

* darkness goes away*

**Rin:** *picks up Saku and looks at who I'm presuming to be Midna * Hello?

**Link:** Ummm... I... kinda said she could... stay here...for Christmans...

**me:** Why would she want to stay in me basement?

**Riah**: Oohhh 3 Welcome =]

**Jace:** * whispers* Maybe she wants to get down with Link?

**Rin: -_-**

**Jace;** What? It's a possibility

**Riah**: Most likely

**Link & Midna:** * oblivious to conversation*

**Rin: **Uh, hi Midna. . .

**me**: well, personally I love Midna so I don't have a problem with it...

**Midna:** Hm? Oh, who are all of these people?

**Link:** Umm... This is Rin...

**Riah**: Midna's met Rin before, right?

**Midna:** I remember you...

**Midna:** From that thing where you got kidnapped with the whole Hogwarts thing...

**Rin:** Yep. . .

**Saku: ***hangs out of Rin's arms * Are you mommy and daddy's friend?

**Midna:** Hm? Who's Daddy?

**Riah**: *points at Link * Daddy 3

**Minda:** * stares at Link*  
**Link:** I'll explain later...

**Rin:** Yeah, you've got the wrong idea Dx totally wrong

**Saku:** . . . ? What's wrong?

**Rin:** Nothing, hun. . .

**Saku**: But you said. . ?

**Fang:** Well, this is awkward...

**Rin:** Nevermind what I said Dx

**Riah:** Mmhm! But it's fun =]

**Jace:** * eyeing Midna*

**me:** * slaps* You have a girlfriend...

**Jace:** Yeah, but she's not here...

**Riah**: . Jace is a cheater, just like Linky

**Link:** I heard that, and I am not a cheater.

**Riah**: Are TOO!

**Link: *** rolls eyes and holds Rin*

**Rin:** *smiles at him *

**Riah: **I've finally decided on Rin's age; 16 (I kept switching her age . god knows why)

**Link: *** blinks and looks down at Rin* That means you're only a little younger than me, probably six or seven months...

**Rin:** Huh. . . Cool =)

**Riah: ***stamps number 16 on Rin's forehead * Just so I won't forget

**Rin:** _ Jeez, thanks

**Riah: **You are WELCOME =]

**Saku:** *looks at Midna * Huh. . .

Welp, hai ^-^


	18. Status War!

**(Mortal Instruments spoiler alert, don't say I didn't warn you…)**

**me: **should I read Zelda fanfiction or play twilight princess? The questions of life...

**Riah:** Does the fanfic have Linky in it?

I've cleaned up most of my room. . . It looks nice ^-^

_Riah's new status message - WOOT! Room's clean =] _

**Riah:** Borreeddd. . It's Christmas eve eve eve =]

**Riah:** What's the fanfic about?

**me**: IT'S ZELINK!!!!!

I LOVE ZELINK!!!!!!!

She got turned into a hawk and he named her Shannon

**Riah:** . . . ._. That's. . Uh. .

**Rin:** I hate Zelink. I despise it. I hope it-

**Riah:** Watch it

**me**: I LOVE ZELINK

As much as I love FAX!!!!

**Link:** Need you bring this up?

**Riah:** Brb

**me:** kk

Sent at 6:17 PM on Tuesday

**Riah:** Bak ^^

**me:** hello there, long time no see

**Riah:** Yep =3

**Rin:** Dx Zelink should burn. Like Miggy D:

**me:** DEATH TO MIGGY!!!!

_Riah's new status message - I'm against Zelink Dx _

**Riah:** YES!!!!

**me:** ZELINK FOREVER!!!!

**Rin:** NUUU! D:

**Riah:** BURN IN HELL, ZELINK!!

**me:** D:

**Rin:** *nods * Finally, Riah and I agree

**Riah:** WOOT!!!! :3 Let's go plot world domination!

**Rin:** . . . No. .

**me:** ooooohhh!!!!!! I'm in!!!!!

**Riah:** WOOT!!!

Go world domination!!!

_Riah's new status message - I'm against Zelink, but I'm all for world domination!!! :_D

**Saku:** Can I help with world domination?

**Rin:** -_-

**Riah:** YEP! =] I'm building recruits

_Riah's new status message - Who wants to help with world domination? =] _

**Riah:** Maggie M is all for it ^^

**Twila:** Me tooooooo!!!!!!!

**Rin:** No. There will be no world domination. -_-

**Saku:** Mommies a fun spoiler Dx

**Riah:** I taught her so well

**me:** everyone wants to ruin my dreams

**Rin:** ._.;; Oh jeez. . .

**Riah:** See? Everyone hates Rin D:

Even more than they hate me

**Rin:** -_- That's because nobody knows me. . And everyone you know, you've turned against me

**Riah:** ^-^ Yep

_Riah's new status message - YEAH WORLD DOMINATION! _

_Riah's new status message - Exactly!! :D 6:47 PM_

_Riah's new status message - *whips Rin with a whip I don't have * BOW!!! Rin: -_- Wtf? _

**Rin:** I think Mariah's taking this world domination thing too seriously. .

**Riah:** *plotting a way to nuke Moscow *

**Rin:** My point is proven -_-

**me:** did you know they're making a video game about the cold war? XD "press x to hover finger over nuke trigger" and "press triangle to have a debate with Russia" XD I can't wait to see it

**Riah:**I want!!!!

**Rin:** I'm sure you do ._.

**Riah:** Where did you come up with this excellent source of information?

**me: **my science teacher XD

**Riah:** XD Nice

None of my teachers are that awesome ._.

**me:** Mr. Bond is AWESOME!!!!!

he gives everyone nicknames

**Riah:** Lucky Dx

**me:** and he doesn't give homework

**Riah:** All my teachers hate me Dx

**me:**

ms. marquette doesn't like me cause I never do my homework

**Riah:** ._. I'd like no homework

It's the only reason I'm failing Dx

**Riah:** Maggies having keyboard difficulties. .

It's dyslexic, it's spelling everything backwards Dx

**me:** haha I really want to see that XD

**Riah:** XD it's really funny

She's getting frustrated. . XD

Nevermind ._. She was pulling a prank

._.

She hates me too!!!!

**me:** awwwwww

**Riah:** _

Ohh, but her profile picture is cute it has colorful pokemon

**Rin: **Everyone hates her. . But she can still focus on their profile pictures. . . Sad

**Riah:** Lawl, we were having drama classes last week in school xD There was this game called "What're you doing?", and there were two people playing. The first person is always playing an imaginary piano, and re other person comes up and says "What're you doing?" the person playing the piano says something completely different than what they're doing, and the person who asked has to go and pretend to do what they said. I had to play with keiran, and after a few rounds I went up and asked "What're you doing?" like I was supposed to. He replied "Nuking Moscow," ._. I had no idea how to reply, so I grabbed a marker and my world map, put a big X through Moscow and pretended to have a conversation with the president about the remainders of Moscow ._.

_Riah's new status message - I loved drama classes 3. WORLD DOMINATION!! To hell with Zelink!!! _

_Your new status message- I've never done a video chat before, but I bet it would be insanely awesome._

**Riah:** Yo

**me:** hi

**Riah:** Wuzzup? ^-^

**me:** READING FANFICTION!!!!!

**Riah:** I've never done a video chat either ._. I want to though

Which one? The Zelink one? D:

**me:** YES

well, this one isn't really Zelink

but the one I was reading the other day was

_Your new status message- I LOVE ZELINK!!!!!_

**Riah:** Good. D: I hate Zelink

Not joking. . I just don't like Zelink xD

_Riah's new status message - No! ZELINK SUCKS!! D: _

**me:** I was reading this awesome one where Link was immortal and then Zelda was forced to marry this creeper and he was all like "I'll save you!" and then it was awesome but the last sentence of the newest chapter was: "It did not take long for his screams to die down and for Zelda's world to black out in front of her with Link's mangled corpse as the only lasting image in her mind."

**Link:** I'm glad you read nice fanfiction -_-

_Your new status message- Shut up, Riah, Zelink doesn't suck!!!!!_

**Riah:** While rifling through my drawers. . I found a poster of Link and Lineback (Linebeck? I dunno) that I got with Phantom Hourglass ._.

**Rin:** ._. I don't like that fanfiction. I really don't Dx

**Link:** I'm with you there...

_Riah's new status message - IT DOES TOO!! _

**Riah: **I don't either. . . ._.;;

_Your new status message- NO IT DOESN'T!!!!!!_

**me:** JACE DIED D:

**Jace:** Ummm...?

_Riah's new status message - DO TOO!!! *eats you * D: _

**me: **No, really, he did. In the last book

**Riah:** o_o

_Your new status message- Oh, you did NOT just go there!!!!_

**Rin:** D: Poor Jace

**Me: **But then Clary brought him back to life

**Riah:** Me: Rin ran away from Konoha ._. She might me dead, we don't know

**Rin:** Lucky Jace. . I don't know if I'm dead or not Dx

**me:** and her mom was all like "I'm sorry, it must be sad knowing that he's not really her brother" and she was just sitting there like, "And why is this a bad thing?" It was kind of entertaining XD

_Riah's new status message - Oh, but I DID! _

**Riah:** XD Nice

_Your new status message- Didn't your mother ever tell you not to eat people?_

I want to know if Rin's dead ._. But the last manga they published in American left off with Kakashi's flashback of her run away Dx

Running*

_Riah's new status message - NO. _

_Riah's new status message - YOU CAN'T TALK YOU WERE EATEN _

Riah: Rin: ._. I believe I was killed by the Akatsuki. . Or something. .

_Your new status message- Well… I'm special!!!!_

**Riah:** WHAT IF OBITO (Akatsuki's Tobi (we think)) KILLED YOU?!

_Riah's new status message - I'm specialer!! _

**Rin:** Yes. . The one who died while I tried to save him. . How epic -_-


	19. Dipsomania

**me: ** LINK HAS DIPSOMANIA!!!!!!!!!

**Link: **English please

**me:** AND FANG HAS AGORAPHOBIA!!!!

**Fang**: I do not!!!

**Riah and Rin**: . . . ._.

**Riah:** And those would be. . ?

**me:** and Jace has a lot of avoirdupois

**Jace:** I do not!!!!

and Twila's making a lot of pther upstairs!!!!

pother*

**Max:** That's a given...

**Link:** Am I the only one confused?

**Riah:** . . Pother?

**Rin and Riah:** We have no clue. .

**me:** and Link arrogated his pillow...

And Fang is a simulacrum of silence

(I FEEL SO SMART!!!!!)

**me:** And mariah is anomie XD

**Fang:** Nice one

**Riah: ** (._. I still have no clue, all I got was 'And Link arrogated his pillow')

**Riah:** anomie? D:

What??

**me:** arrogate: To claim as a right for oneself presumptuously.

anomie: Social instability and alienation caused by the erosion of norms and values.

simulacrum: An image or representation.

**Riah:** . . ._.

**me:** pother: A commotion or fuss

avoirdupois:Heaviness or weight of a person

dipsomania: An insatiable, periodic craving for alcohol.

agoraphobia: A fear of being in public places, open spaces, or in crowds.

I think that's all of them...

**Rin:** ._. And Link has a craving for alcohol?

**me:** YES

**Riah:** I see. .

**me: **and drugs, you know he's dealing them...

he sleeps in to avoid hangovers

**Riah:** COOL

**Rin:** -_- I'm so sure

**Riah:** What happened to Midna? I haven't heard from her

_Riah's new status message - ._. Link craves alcohol _

_Your new status message- It's the sad truth _

**me:** oh, right, I forgot about her, what'd you expect?

**Riah: **Lawl

_Riah's new status message - Rin: -_- _

**Rin:** I want proof Link craves Alcohol .

**Riah:** . . . *has no idea why I capitalized Alcohol *

I DID IT AGAIN!

Dx

**me:** * stares* Do YOU have dipsomania?

**Riah:** Yes ^-^

Thanks for noticing =]

**Rin:** -_- I live with morons. .

**Riah:** And where, exactly, doe Link get drugs to deal them?

Does*

**me:** TUBBY CUSTARD LAND!

**Rin:** -_- My mom's dead

**Riah:** WHAT SHE SAID!

**Rin:** . . . *smacks forehead *

**Link:** * sigh* Why do I put up with these lunatics?

**Rin:** I have no clue. .

**Riah:** 'Cause Rin's worth it?

And so's Saku?

Loser. You should know that.

**Rin:** -_- Riah, shuddap. .

**Riah:** . . . Brandy wants to know who Link is, and why he's an alcoholic xD

**me:** Link is a dog boy and he was so depressed about his land being taken over every other second that he ran off to vegas, now has god knows how many kids, gambled his life away, and became alcoholic

**Link:** -_- Wonderful

**Rin:** -_- That's nice. .

**Riah:** *copies and pastes *

Heh. ..

Brandy says; "._. I wanna meet this kid,"

XDXDXD

**me:** XD

_Riah's new status message – Lawlawlawl_

**Rin:** Mariah's friends are also idiots Dx

**Riah:** Heh. . I love them

**Rin:** How can you love your friends?

**Riah: **Friends? I was talking about Link's kids D:

**Rin:** . . . *sighs *

This has been a long day -_-

**Link: **I gotta' meet these kids...  
**me:** * stares* * whispers* I think he actually believes me...

**Link:** Now where would I find them...

**Rin:** ._. Link. .

**Riah:** xD xD

**Rin:** *pats his head slowly * You okay?

**Llink:** Yeah, but I just found out I have god knows how many kids and I've missed their childhoods!!!!

**me & Jace:** * cracking up in corner*

**Rin:** -_- Amy made that up, hun. .

**Link:** Made what up?

**Riah:** *cracking up with you *

**Rin:** *smacks forehead *

You don't have any kids (that she knows of), you've never been to vegas (as far as she knows), and you aren't a dog boy (or is he?). .


	20. THE SOAP OPERA!

**Link:** I did go to vegas once, for my honeymoon...

**me:** ?!?!?! I thought you never actually got married?!

Rin: ._.? honeymoon?

**Link:** Oh? What? I mean... BEFORE the honeymoon... which I didn't go on... because that takes place after marriage.... and I was never married...

**Riah:** this'll be entertaining. .

**Rin:** . . Why'd you go to vegas then? ._.

Link, what's the hole story here? -_-

**Link:** It was a... uh... um... business... trip...

**Riah:** whole*

-_-

Right. .

**Riah:** SPILL, DOG BOY!!!

**Link:** I swear, I'm not married!!!!!!

**Riah:** 'Kay, now, tell us the whole truth -_-

**Link:** I'm not married. End of story

**Riah:** why were you in vegas? D:

NOT END OF STORY D:

This is onlythe beginning. . :]

only the*

**Midna:** I know the story...

**Riah:** Tell? ^-^

**Midna:** He WAS married.

And then she died, and he felt really bad about it so he took a little trip to the USA

_Riah's new status message - I have a feeling Linky might get in trouble. . _

**Rin:** and went to Vegas?

**Riah:** Because EVERYONE goes to vegas to mourn the loss of beloved ones ._.

_Riah's new status message - Or not. . _

**Rin:** *looks at Link * I'm sorry, hun. .

**Riah:** ._. I'm not buying it, but alright. .

**Link:** What?! It's not like I had anywhere else to go!

**Riah:** But VEGAS? Where people go to CELEBRATE?

**Link;** And besides, that wasn't the first time I went, and I remembered it as a fun place, so naturally I went back

sort of as a distraction

**Riah**: -_- Damn your logic

**Rin:** *hugs him * I'm sorry, Link D: We were wrong to judge you unfairly Dx

**Midna:** It was a hard time for him, losing them both so quickly...

**Riah:** . There's something wrong with Rin. She's unusually clingy .

**Rin:** . . . Both? ._.?

**Link:** * looks away*  
**Midna:** ? You never told them...?

**Rin:** *looks at Link quesioningly * . . ?

Questioningy*

**Link:** * mumbles* It's nothing...

**Midna:** It's not nothing.

**Link:** Yeah, well, I don't want to talk about my dead family, okay?!

**Rin:** *looks down and nods * We understand, we're sorry. .

**Riah: ** D: Linky \3

**Midna:** Can I tell them then?  
**Link:** I don't care * sulks off*

**Rin: ***looks at him walk off * . . . Midna, if he didn't wanna talk about it, I don't think it's right for you to share. . .

**Midna:** He just want to think about it, I don't think it's that he doesn't want you to know...

**Riah:** My god I had a dream about this the other night O_o

**me:** O_o Phsycic...

**Riah:** Creepy Dx

**Rin:** *nods slowly *

**Riah:** Go comfort him, woman!!! D:

**Rin: **Is that such a good idea? Does he really want to be comforted? I don't wanna make it worse Dx

**Midna:** Maybe he'll talk to you

**Riah:** -_- So worried, ask Amy. .

**me:** Like I care what happens to my hostages.... except for Fang * glomps*

**Rin:** *sighs * it's worth a shot. . *goes over to Link * Hun?

**Link:** Hm?

**Riah:** you're so nice XD

**me:** I know, right?

**Rin:** I'm here for ya, you know. . *looks at him * Please don't be sad. .

**Me:** Yep, the nicest xD

**Link:** It's kinda hard not to be...

**Rin:** I know. . . *looks up * I know what it feels like to lose loved ones. . *looks back at him * But it tears me apart to see you upset. .

**Riah:** Dx *shuts off sappy music * I hate you, sappiness

*shuns Yiruma *

_Riah's new status message - Dx Sappiness kills my insides _

**Link**: But it's all my fault that they died. It was because I couldn't... protect them, because I wasn't strong enough...

**Rin:** *hugs him tightly * I'm sorry. . But you can't put yourself in that position. If you couldn't do it, it couldn't be helped. . Sometimes things happen and can't be avoided. .

_Your new status message- I hope you know I'm randomly making this up… _

**Link:** That's the thing, it could've been avoided. If I wasn't such a preoccupied idiot it wouldn't have happened...

_Riah's new status message - So am I. . . Sorta. 9:26 PM_

**Riah:** *looks at him * don't blame yourself. . It'll only make you feel worse. . I'm sure your family forgives you, I'm positive they do. . It isn't your fault. . .

**Riah:** I've never had to talk to someone about losing their family, so I don't know if I'm approaching this right ._.

**me:** Shhhhhhhh, I'm watching the movie!

_Riah's new status message - It's so freaking cold in my room ;-; _

**Link: **It's just seeing the two- three- of them go all at once...

**Riah:** xD *munches popcorn *

**Rin:** *keeps hugging him * As long as you don't forget them, they're not really gone. .

(it's not a movie, is a soap opera, lawl)

**Link:** How can I remember her? I never even got to meet her...

(OMG it's like those super dramatic ones we watch in Spanish!!!!!)

**Rin: ***looks up at him * I'm. . I'm sorry. .

(xDxD)

**Rin: ***looks down at her feet * I really don't know what to say. . But I promise, I'm not gonna leave you. *looks back at him * I swear I won't. .

(my eye hurts. . Dx)

**me:** (awwww poor eye)

**Link:** * smiles weakly*

**Rin: ***hugs him tightly *

(Dx)

(I don't watch soap operas. . Haha, I could make one though xD)

**me:** (We're making one right now XD)

**Riah:** (we should have it produced xD)

**me:** (lol they should make it into a movie)

**Riah:** (XD)

**Saku: ***scampers to them * Mommy? Daddy? What's a soap opera? Riah and Amy keep talking about it. .

(I love the word scampers. . )

**Rin:** *picks her up * Nothing, hun. .

**Saku:** *reaches for Link * Daddy? D: Hold me?

**Link:** * smiles*

**Riah:** (icing on the cake xD)

**Rin: ***hands Saku to him and smiles *

_Riah's new status message - Oh yeah! =D _

**Saku:** *snuggles Link * I love you daddy

**Link:** I love you too, Saku...

**Saku:** *falls asleep in his arms * . . .

**Rin:** *smiles warmly at them *

**Riah:** *applauds * BRAVO!!! WOOT!!! ENCORE!!!

**link:** * falls asleep with Saku*

**Riah:** (that was neccesary)

**me**: * teary-eyed* That was so beautiful...

**Riah:** . . . Wasn't Link standing up?

**Me:** not as I pictured him...

**Riah:** ._. And now he's asleep. . Holding a child. .

**me:** (here we go editing out script XD)

(our*)

**Riah:** . . . I thought they were standing up Dx How did you picture them?

(lawlawlawl)

**me:** XD sitting up against the wall lol

**Riah:** I had to explain what dipsomania meant to Bayley xD

_Riah's new status message - I'm still confused. . _

**Riah:** YEAH!! *virtual party, lawl *

**me:** (srry, my brother was being an idiot)

**Riah:** (lawl, hey!!)

**Riah:** . . . How do you picture they were standing/sitting/whatever?

(My tummy hurts D: )

**me:** How do you see someone having a heart-to-heart-conversation standing up?!?!?!

**Riah:** I have a good imagination?

Fine. .

**Rin:** *leans on Link, yawns, falls asleep *

**Link:** * already asleep*

**Riah:** *takes a picture * FAMILY PORTRAIT!

I knew that ._.

I'm ruining our soap, lawl

**me:** grrrrrr how dare you D:

**Riah: **Heh. .

I hope you post this on fanfiction xD it'll leave the readers teary eyed xD

**me:** He never even got to the part about how his son was such a wonderful person and everyone loved him and he was nice to everyone and he did everything right D:

**Riah:** Link has a son? ._.

**Link:** * opens eyes sleepily* Hnnn?

**Saku:** Huh? *was half awake already * I have a broder?

**Link:** Umm... no, Saku...

**Riah:** I decided she can't pronounce ths. .

**Saku:** But Amy said. .

**Link:** Don't listen to Amy...

**Saku:** Okay, daddy. .

*nuzzles him and falls back asleep *

**Link:** * strokes Rin's hair and stares at floor*

**Riah:** Link has a son?

**Link:** * mumbles* no

**Rin:** *cuddles him *

**Riah:** Kay :D

_Riah's new status message - I'm such an idiot xD _

_Your new status message- You're also very unsympathetic D:_

_Riah's new status message - I'm usually sympathetic. . _

**Riah:** I'm sure once Rin finds out, she'll be even MORE sympathetic

**Link:** Hm.

**Riah:** Hm? Hm what?

**Link:** * shrugs* Hm.

**Riah: ** . . . Right. .

**Rin:** *nuzzles link's shoulder, starting to stir * Hnn?

**Link:** Hey...

**Rin:** Hi. . *yawns *


	21. THE PILLOW!

**Riah**: RinXxXLink is destroyed. . . FOREVER! Bwahahaha

**me**: what did you do...?

**Riah**: In my story. . Zelda has came =] And it's not forever. . Just until I find a way out Dx

**me**: Did Zelda come and tell Rin all about how she used to be engaged to Link?  
**Link:** * winces* PLEASE don't bring up that story...

**Rin:** Which usually means she won- wait wha?

**Riah**: *makes popcorn * Please! Do tell!

**Link:** * hides in corner*  
**me:** Yeah! You didn't know that?

**Rin:** No .

**me**: They were engaged for a while. Link still won't tell me what happened to break them up...

**Riah**: But the past is the past, right? No reason to fret over it now

she's in an awfully good mood today .

**me**: Come here, Rin, I want to tell you a secret...

**Rin:** *looks at you * _ I'll listen, just for kicks *walks over *

**me**: * whispers* He mutters her name when he's sleeping but then he gets this weird look on his face and starts mumbling about ou and then it's both of you... It's kinda weird...

you*

**Rin:** ._.;;

**Riah**: *covers eyes * Curse my perverted mind! (I hang out with pervs, don't blame me)

**Link:** ... Do I want to know what you told her? If it has anything to do with my pillow-  
**me:** Ooh! I wasn't gonna' tell her that one, but that's good  
**Link:** * cries over stupidity*

**me:** * pats head* It's okay, Linky... Rin just needs to love you more so you don't feel lonely and compelled to do taht...

that*

**Rin:** ._. Wot?

**Fang:** I've seen this situation firsthand, you REALLY don't want to know...

**Riah**: Oh god. . . _

**Rin:** ._. You're probably right. . .

*pats Link's head * it's okay. . .

**Link:** You all live to humiliate me...

**Fang:** No, I'm pretty sure you humiliated yourself there

**me:** * smacks* Of course we live to humiliate you!!!!!

**Rin:** I don't. . . I was just curious ,_,

._.**

**Riah**: *biting hand, eyes shut * Bad images. . . Bad bad images. . .

**me**: I feel your pain...

**Rin:** *swallows * I uh. . . Wish I never asked ._.

**Riah**: I wish you never asked!!!

**me**: :'( I wish it never happened!!!!

**Saku: **I don't get it. . .

**Twila: **Me eider...

**Rin:** And I hope you never do. . .

**Riah**: *kneels by Saku * You're daddy is just a bad bad man, okay?

**Saku:** D: Is not

**Link:** Hey!

**Riah**: Hey! It's true!

**Rin:** Saku, don't listen to Riah _

**Riah**: But. . . D:

I can only hope you got rid of that pillow _

**Fang:** * shivers* Actually, it's over there... * points to shreds of fluff in corner*

**Riah**: ._.

**Rin:** *smacks forehead *

**Saku:** Why's the pillow all torn up? Daddy? *looks at Link *

**Link:** * curls up in ball in corner*

**Saku:** :|

**Rin:** Saku, it's nap time *picks her up and walks out *

**Riah**: *looks at Link * you just got pwned xD

**Rin:** *walks back in sits by link, pats his back * Link. . . Don't get so upset about it. . . ._.;;

**Link:** You've destroyed my manhood...

**Rin:** _ Jeez, thanks

**Riah**: *forwarding chat to everyone I know, who is a fan of Link * Heh. .

**Rin:** *stands back up * Riah, don't _

**Riah**: *clicks send * Woot! =]

**Rin:** *looks at Link and sighs * You did put that on yourself back there, ya know. .

**Riah**: *hands Link Rin plush * No more abusing pillows

**Link:** * raises eyebrow* You'd rather I abused THIS?

**Riah**: *nods * Well, we all happen to like pillows. You're making us dislike them

**Rin:** Where did you get that doll, Mariah? _

**Riah**: *shrugs *

That's for you to find out

**Rin****:** . . . What's that supposed to mean?

**Riah**: I. . . I don't know yet. I'll figure it out


	22. Good Night!

**Riah**: Anywho. Now I HAVE to go to bed. ___; Language Arts quiz tomorrow.

**me**: :(

alrighty...

Fang will dream about you...

**Riah**: Talk to you tomorrow ho- wait what?

.___.

**Jace:** Sketchface...

**Riah**: Uh..

Love you too, Fang? ._.

**Fang:** * smirks* sure thing, babe  
**me:** * slaps* no sexual abuse D:

**Riah**: Look who's calling who a sketch, JACE.

....... o_____o

Fang.... Who gave him drugs?!

**me**: probably Steve...

**Riah**: .____.; Bad Steve.

He turned mah taser into a squirt gun. _

**me**: well, my daddy says I havta go to bed... I hope I don't dream about you.... I mean, I loves ya but that would just be creepy... g'night 3

**Riah**: 3 Lawl, night

_Riah's new status message - I got sexually abused by FANG. Haha, Maggie. I won. 10:16 PM_

And yes. It would.

___;


	23. I LOVE STEVE

**Some uh… suggestive content here, just FYI…**

**Steve:** **YO!!!!!!**

**Riah:** STEVE

**me: *** wince* Dude, turn the volume down

**Riah:** Hey there.

........ But..

**Steve: ****sorry, I think something broke... but the unicorn will fix it**

**Riah:** I have a unicorn... It's purple. I named it Charlie. Just putting that out there .;

**Jace:** *walks out of closet, streching arms over head * Heya. Mariah, your stuffed animals smell like dust. Clean them.  
**Riah:** ....... .; Dun sleep there.

**Steve:** **I think you should name it Britanny. Britanny's a good unicorn name. I had a girlfriend named Britanny once. She was really good...**  
**Twila:** Huh? Wuz he mean, Momma?  
**Max:** He uh.. means he liked her...

**Jace:** ........ Pffttt. Come here, Twi, and I'll tell you what he really meant. :)  
**Riah:** Jace. Don't. *hits with flyswatter *  
**Jace:** ..... D:

**Twila:** * waddles over* Wut?

**Jace:** *eyes me, kneels down and whispers explaination *  
**Riah:** *continuously hits him with flyswatter * NO BAD D:  
**Jace:** *puts me on ignore *

**Twila: **O.O Why do peoples do dat?  
**Max:** Twila...

**Jace:** For a happy, nice feeling.

**Riah: **D: STOP THAT *hits again *

**Twila:** * cocks head* It feel good?

**Jace:** It feels very good.

**Riah:** Dx *gives up *

**Twila: **You do to me?  
**Max:** * pulls Twila away* NO MORE.

**Jace:** *fell over, laughing *

**Riah: ** ..... I seriously just lol'd. I'm a sad person. o_o;

**Fang:** * punches Jace in face* Back off, dickhead. She's my daughter. Don't mess with her.  
**Max: *** rolls eyes* Fang...


	24. SteveSteve&Steve

I totally just realized there has been no explanation as to who the heck Steve is. So here are blurbs including every time Steve's voice has ever been heard…

**Rin:** I hate you

**Riah:** She hates everyone D: She's a downer

**Rin:** You made me that way! D:

**Mysterious voice:** Try uppers, speed's my favorite... Heroine's good too, but it gives some people headaches...

**Rin:** *looks up * o_o;;

**me**: Thanks for the drug lesson, Steve _

**Saku:** Steve? Whozzat? Who's Heroine?

**Rin:** Saku, I think it's time for a nap ._.

(heehee my invisible line is awesome than your invisible line :p take that, line)

**Ilia:** Hi, Rin * stiffly*

**Link:** We've been at a friend's house

**Riah**: Rin and Linky, get back her o_o Saku's crying and wants you guys back here D:

**MV (AKA Steve):** Yeah, get back to your crack daughter * hiccups*

**Link:** * looks irritated*

**Ilia: **Crack daughter? * raises eyebrow*

**Rin:** Crack daughter wha?! D:

**Steve:** I'm saying she was made because you were on crack.  
**Link:** What?! She;s not even my biological daughter. You're crazy, Steve (CRAZY STEVE!!! I LOVE HIM!!!!!)

**Riah**: (YEAH!!!!!)

**Rin:** Neither of us are on crack, Steve _

**Steve:** Well you should be, it's better than heroine and speed * hiccups* the alcohol ain't bad, though...

**Link:** Why is my life so weird?

**Riah**: Because, you know us :3

**me**: Ember set the house on fire again. Thought you should know before we all die...

**Riah**: o_o

**Ilia:** Right.... I think I'm gonna.... go now...

**Rin:** Uhh, can't someone put it out?! O_o

**Steve:** Yeah, you better run, girly!!!!

**Me:** Nah, that's no fun.

**Riah**: Heh...

**Link:** I guess this is our cue to head back...

(heehee my invisible line is awesome than your invisible line :p take that, line)

**Obito: ***walks in and rubs his eyes, was napping * What do I hear about rape? ._.

**me**: * turns and hisses at him* **KILLLL!!!!!!!!**

**Kakashi:** *pokes head in * Rape?

**Obito:** *jumps back * o_o

She's uh..... Scary...

**Riah:** *pats head * We know... We know...

**me**: **KIIILLLLL!!!!! KILL!! KILL!!**

**Riah**: *puts you in non-existent closet *

**Steve:** Yo, guys, I heard something about rape?

**Link:** How?!?!?!

**Steve:** I loooooove rape

**Jace:** ._.

**Riah**: Hi, Steve...!!!

**Steve:** He----yyyyyy guys. Want some pot?

**Riah**: Sure :3

**Obito:** *shoves me in non-existent closet * _

**Steve:** Oh, look, the clouds are turning into butterflies again...

**Saku:** ....?

**Kakashi:** I think we should move the kids ._.

**Saku:** *looks up * I dun see no butterflies ._.

**Steve:** I ate some clouds for breakfast this morning

**Riah**: *calls from closet * Yeah, move the children!!!

**Twila:** He's on hayucagens!!!!!

**Max:** O.O And how do you know this, sweetie?

**Twila:** Well, Jace told me.

**Max: * **glares at Jace*****

(heehee my invisible line is awesome than your invisible line :p take that, line)

**Riah**: Any news from Linky?

**me**: not yet...

**Steve:** Anyone want a ride on my pink unicorn? * snort* Heeheeeheeeheeheehee!!!!

**Saku:** oh!!! Oh I do!!!  
**Rin: ***picks her up * No you don't...  
**Saku:** *flails *

(heehee my invisible line is awesome than your invisible line :p take that, line)

**me**: * whacks you with sledgehammer*

**Riah**: - falls, gained zero exp. -

D:

**me**: :D

**Riah**: Meanie. - gets up, pulls out taser. - FEEL THE BURN D: - zaps. -

* mysterious force turns taser into squirt gun*  
**me:** YAY!!!!! STEVE!!!!! ^-^ I knew there was a reason I put up with him

**Riah**: ......... Dx Thanks, Steve.

- fills squirt gun with bubble juice, continueously squirts you. -

**me**: YAY :D BUBBLES!

**Riah**: Feh. Dx

(heehee my invisible line is awesome than your invisible line :p take that, line)

**Steve:** **YO!!!!!!**

**Riah**: STEVE :D

Hey there. :D

**me**: * wince* Dude, turn the volume down

**Riah**: ........ But..

**Steve:** **sorry, I think something broke... but the unicorn will fix it**

**Riah**: I have a unicorn... It's purple. I named it Charlie. Just putting that out there .;

**Jace:** *walks out of closet, streching arms over head * Heya. Mariah, your stuffed animals smell like dust. Clean them.  
**Riah:** ....... .; Dun sleep there.

**Steve:** **I think you should name it Britanny. Britanny's a good unicorn name. I had a girlfriend named Britanny once. She was really good...***


	25. Party! ish

_Believe it or not, the hostages have been out of communication :O So here's their reunion! It was supposed to be a party, but… whatever…_

**me**: Party? :D

**Riah**: Ohhhhh yes. Parrttyyyyy. :

**me**: Fang may have eaten all of the brownies... sorry...

**Riah**: ... :c Darn. But whatever. I have soda and that makes me happy.  
**Rin:** orz I wanted a brownie..  
**Jace:** Psh! Womun, make us more! :C  
**Riah**: ; v ; I burn brownies... I can't.

**me**: my mommy made them yesterday :)

**Twila:** Brownie!

**Riah**: I know. : Are they all gone, or aren't they? 'cause I do want. :'D

**me**: There's one left.

**Twila:** For me! Jacey! ~runs over and hugs Jace's legs~ miss! ^-^

**Riah**: ... :U It's miiinnneeeee. ~looks at Twila~ ... :c Fine... ~eats too many sweets as it is~  
**Jace:** ~grins and picks her up, twirls her around happily~ Heya, Twi! I missed you too! ~smiles at her~

**Twila:** We read your book with the pretty pictures?

**Rin:** ... What book?  
**Jace:** A gorgeous book. Yes,Twi. Let's go read that. ~smiles and carries her off~  
**Rin:** ... _

**Link:** ~face lights up~ Rin!

**Rin:** ~blinks and looks back at him, smiles happily~ Link. ~walked over calmly and hugged~ Hey there, it's been a while.  
**Riah:** Ever since girl scout camp with your 87 children, to be exact. :'D

**Link:** Ahem... yes... I've actually been gone for the past months visiting them and spending quality time with each one.

**Rin:** ~smiles at him~ That's good! Getting to know your children is a good parenting skill...  
**Saku:** ~speaking of children(even if she is unbiological), glomps Link's leg and smiles~ Daddy! c:

**Link**: Saku! I was just about to ask where you were! ~picks up and hugs tightly~

**Saku:** ~hugged him back and grinned, kisses his cheek~ Yay! I missed you c: ~nuzzles him~

**Link**: :)  
**Max:** I feel I should go check on Twila... ~hands Ember to Fang~  
**Ember:** Hi! ^-^ ~giggles~

**Rin:** I suggest you go do that. ~facepalms a little bit~ No telling what Jace is doing.  
**Riah:** Oh, I'm sure they're behaving. :

**me:** I wouldn't bet on it... Who knows what Jace could be doing?  
**Fang**: Max, get her. Now.  
**Max:** -_- …

I'm going...

**Jace:** ~went down the hall to a spare room with Twila~

**Max:** ~goes down and opens door, shielding eyes~ Jace? Could I um... have Twila back now?

**Jace**: ~surprisingly, reading her a children's picture book~ :C Max. You can open your eyes. I'm being good. ~looks at Twila~ Do you wanna go back to mom then? ~smiles at her~

**Twila:** No D:  
**Max:** ~blinks in surprise~ Uhh... Well... uh... I guess it's ok... for now... But I WILL be checking in ~glares at Jace~

**Jace:** ~sticks tongue out at her childishly~ still the same old Max, I see. :P I'm being good today. Mariah told me I had to behave every other day, so... neh. ~shrugs before going back and reading to Twila~

**Twila:** Love Jace! Hate Mommy!  
**Max:** ... Sure thing... ~walks out~

**Jace:** ~sniggers before continueing to read~  
**Rin:** ~looks back at her as she returns~ Eh? What happened?

**Max:** Nothing... ~goes and sits in non-existent closet~

**Riah**: That can't be good... _  
**Rin:** Wonder what Jace did now..  
**Riah:** He's supposed to be behaving today. :C

**Ember:** Mama D: ~reaches for closet~  
**Fang:** ~sighs and goes and hands her to Max~

**Riah**: ~watches~ o_o Get Max to sppiilllll :c If Jace is being naughty, I need to go and punish him.

**Max:** ~mumbles~ He's being fine...

**Riah**: ... and you're disturbed by that so greatly that it's led you to sitting in the non-existing closet?

**Max:** ~mumbles and holds Ember tighter~

**Riah**: Makes sense... ~goes to get a handful of confetti, throws it around~ Happy partying. C:

**Phantom:** ~drools and eats confetti~

**Rin:** Don't throw things that shouldn't be eaten, Mariah.  
**Riah:** ; v ;'' ~goes to sweep up confetti; gives Phantom a cracker instead ~ Don't nom on that.

**Phantom**: :D ~reaches for Riah~

**Riah**: c: ~picked him up~ Hi there.~

**Phantom:** ^-^ ~drools~

**Riah**:... ~wiped drool off of his lip with sleeve and smiles, pats his head and puts him on couch. gives him another cracker.~ :

**Phantom:** ~whimpers and reaches out again~

**Riah**: ... o v o; ~picks him up once more and holds him~

**Phantom**: :) ~leans on shoulder and closes eyes~

**Fang:** How come none of my kids like ME?

**Riah**: D'aw. c: ~pets his back soothingly and looks at Fang~ Uh... dunno. o v o; because everyone else has a more likeable atmosphere?

**Fang:** What's THAT supposed to mean? ~glares~

**Riah**: ... my point exactly. n

Don't glare at people. :c It's not nice.

**Fang:** ~glares~

**Riah**: Hey, ~shrugs~ this is why children don't like you. :U

**Link:** My children all love me ~smiles at Saku~

**Saku**: c: That's because daddy is nice and lovable. 3 ~snuggled him ~

**Link:** :) ~grabs Rin's hand and kisses her head~ I missed you guys...

**Rin:** ~smiles and leans on his shoulder slightly, looking back between everyone from your closet~ We missed you here too... it's been quite dull, really. :\

**Link:** Well, we're here now :) Well, at least I am...

**Rin:** ~looks around and sighs~ They'll come around eventually.

**Link:** ~sets Saku down on couch and wraps arms around Rin~ I don't care about them...

(I'm getting super sappy here... I apologize if it kills your brain...)

**Riah**: (Psh, it's fine. c: My brain is dead and I could probably use some sweeter things. ; v ;'' I've been reading creepy pasta for the past three hours)  
**Rin:** ~smiles and wraps her arms around his waist, kissing his cheek once before looking back up at him~ Awh.~ You should though...

**Link:** But right now I don't. I only care about you.

**Rin:** ~rests her head on his shoulder and smiles into his shirt~ That's sweet of you to say... I really missed you, ya know...

**Link:** :) I love you.

**Rin:** ~smiles again~ I love you too, Link.~

**Twila:** ~runs in and ruins the sappy moment~ Linky!

**Link:** ~reluctantly pulls away from Rin~ Yeah, Twi?

**Twila:** Hi! ^-^

**Link:** Hi, Twi... ~forces a smile~

**Twila:** Hi Rinny!

**Rin:** ~looks at her and smiles, patting her head~ Hiya, Twila. How've you been? c:

**Twila:** Good ^-^ Jace showed me pretty pictures!

**Rin:** ... ~raises an eyebrow slightly~ what _kind_ of pretty pictures?...

**Twila:** There was a prince and a princess and they were-  
**Link:** Ok, ok, that's enough...

**Twila: **But they were saving the kingdom from a dragon D:

**Link:** They... they were...?

**Rin:** ... and that's it?... o_o; like... nothing else?... ~seems a bit dumbfounded~

**Twila:** Well, then the dragon was actually good, and they had to convince the people not to hurt it.

**Rin**: ... ~still looks a teeny bit suspicious~ okay... if you say so, Twi... glad you enjoyed it... ~smiles a bit fakely before patting her head again~

**Twila:** ^-^ Bye-bye! ~runs off~

**Link:** ~chuckles~ It's always crazy here, huh...

**Rin:** ~smiles slightly~ Always has been, always will be...

**Link**: ~grabs her hand and walks back over to everyone else~

**Rin:** ~squeezes his hand and follows behind~  
**Riah:** c: Maybe Jace really is behaving... that makes me happy.

**Phantom:** ~pats Riah's face and giggles~

**Riah**: ~closed eyes as face was patted, patted his head in return and grinned *  
**Saku:** ~pulls on your pant leg and looks up at you~ :L Up? ~wants attention. little bugger ~

**me**: :D A child that likes me? ~picks up Saku and throws her up in the air so she hits the ceiling~ Whoopsie...  
**Link:** ~Reaches out and takes her~ Yeahhhhh...

**Saku**: x_x ~clung to him~ DDDDDDDD: Ooowwwww...

**Link:** S'alright, Saku... ~gently strokes her head~ The scary lady can't hurt you...  
**me:** D:

**Saku:** ; ~ ; ~continued to cling to him~  
**Riah:** ~pats Amy's head and hands you indestructable doll~ Here. ~nods supportively~

**me**: D: I just wanted to hold her...

**Saku:** You threw me against the ceiling. DDDD:

**me**: I didn't mean to D:

**Saku: **D: You didn't mean to throw me five feet up into the air? A hug would have sufficed.

**me**: I just wanted to toss you up in a the air a little bit, like on TV...

I has to go D: I have showers to take and math homework to do...

**Riah**: c: Okay.~ Talk to you later then?~

**me**: Yes! :) 3

**Link:** ~teasingly to Rin~ Goodnight, bunny-boo. I await the sound of thy voice at dawn. ~kisses hand~

**Riah**: Buhbye for now 3 C:

**Rin:** ~grins slightly~ Oh, you flatter me so. ~kisses the top of his head and smiles down at him~ Goodnight, Linky.~  
**Riah:** ~barfed rainbows this time ~

**Link:** :)  
Night! 3

_Anybody catch what Link said at the end? It's from chapter 4 :) I don't think Riah caught it XD_

_Anyway, I don't update this often because it actually takes quite a bit of tedious editing. It's not just copying and pasting the chat into a word document. First, this is gmail, which puts the time every two lines. Which is irritating. Then, we actually use asterisks for the actions, which fanfiction doesn't register. So I have to change all of those to ~s… Then there are the zillions of times where it says __**Riah: **__Rin: blah blah blah or __**me: **__Link: yadda yadda yadda. So I have to take all of those names out. And of course there's the fact that none of the names are bold… the list goes on and on. So that's why I don't post every single chat. Plus there are about 50 million. Which is a lot. So I don't._

_Anyway, the point of this is that I would like to know how many people actually read this (I know the number won't be high XD) so I can figure out how much of this editing is really necessary… I don't want to do it if absolutely no one reads it. So just leave a review for me. I'd appreciate it :)_

_**Amy**_


End file.
